Profile for Canker:
Richard Whiteley's fractal tie was always a crowd pleaser...
Scratching post...
Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
- a member for 21 years, 8 months and 11 days
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- has posted 4 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
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Richard Whiteley's fractal tie was always a crowd pleaser...
Scratching post...
Recent front page messages:
Apologies in advance
Later that day on the Seaview...
'Oh my gawd cap'n! What IS that thing???'
Click for mild enlargifinication
(Fri 11th Apr 2003, 9:58, More)
Later that day on the Seaview...
'Oh my gawd cap'n! What IS that thing???'
Click for mild enlargifinication
(Fri 11th Apr 2003, 9:58, More)
Best answers to questions:
» Shit Stories
Shitting in the woods
I was out in some woods near Kinver (Wolverhampton) camping when I had to go for a shit.
It was pouring down with rain but the turtle was seriously starting to pop his little head out so I ventured forth into the rain to find a likely spot...
After a short while of searching the best I could find was a small tree on the side of a wooded hill so I dropped my pants, grabbed hold of said tree and leant back to do the business.
When I'd just about finished, the tree decided to uproot sending me flailing backwards.
Only my quick reactions prevented me from falling into my own turds as I put my hands out behind on either side of me, and straight into some nettles...
So there I was, in pain, naked from the waist down, getting rained on and at a head downward 45 degree angle on this hill perched above a steaming pile of turds.
I did manage to escape that sticky situation by rolling off sideways (into more nettles) eventually though.
A learning experience for sure.
(Thu 6th May 2004, 10:42, More)
Shitting in the woods
I was out in some woods near Kinver (Wolverhampton) camping when I had to go for a shit.
It was pouring down with rain but the turtle was seriously starting to pop his little head out so I ventured forth into the rain to find a likely spot...
After a short while of searching the best I could find was a small tree on the side of a wooded hill so I dropped my pants, grabbed hold of said tree and leant back to do the business.
When I'd just about finished, the tree decided to uproot sending me flailing backwards.
Only my quick reactions prevented me from falling into my own turds as I put my hands out behind on either side of me, and straight into some nettles...
So there I was, in pain, naked from the waist down, getting rained on and at a head downward 45 degree angle on this hill perched above a steaming pile of turds.
I did manage to escape that sticky situation by rolling off sideways (into more nettles) eventually though.
A learning experience for sure.
(Thu 6th May 2004, 10:42, More)
» World's Most Hated Food
Tarragon
The foulest substance known to mankind. I'd rather eat rancid puke*
* May not be 100% True
(Mon 12th Jul 2004, 12:08, More)
Tarragon
The foulest substance known to mankind. I'd rather eat rancid puke*
* May not be 100% True
(Mon 12th Jul 2004, 12:08, More)
» The Worst Journey in the World
Driving home from work
This is a journey that normally took 35-45 minutes.
Out of nowhere, mother nature decides to dump 2ft of snow on the ground about 20 minutes before I'm due to leave.
"What the hell", I think, "it might take me a bit longer to get home but it won't be too bad."
What I didn't take into account were the thousands of morons who have absolutely NO CLUE how to drive in snowy/icy conditions. Suddenly a minor incline is an impassable obstacle (or at least it is when all you do is try to wheelspin up the hill in 1st gear).
Anyway, 6.5 hours later I made it home safely.
The worst bit? Oh well that was that I was desperate for a piss after the first 45 minutes. It was actually rather painful when I finally made it to the bog nearly 6 hours later.
(Mon 11th Sep 2006, 15:07, More)
Driving home from work
This is a journey that normally took 35-45 minutes.
Out of nowhere, mother nature decides to dump 2ft of snow on the ground about 20 minutes before I'm due to leave.
"What the hell", I think, "it might take me a bit longer to get home but it won't be too bad."
What I didn't take into account were the thousands of morons who have absolutely NO CLUE how to drive in snowy/icy conditions. Suddenly a minor incline is an impassable obstacle (or at least it is when all you do is try to wheelspin up the hill in 1st gear).
Anyway, 6.5 hours later I made it home safely.
The worst bit? Oh well that was that I was desperate for a piss after the first 45 minutes. It was actually rather painful when I finally made it to the bog nearly 6 hours later.
(Mon 11th Sep 2006, 15:07, More)