» Public Transport Trauma

Too many worse experiences to mention, so I offer you my best one.
The Metrolink in and around Manchester city centre. Trial by endurance usually - but it did produce this one bright spark for me several years ago.

I was going home from a United game (the line runs not a million miles from the ground) when I noticed TV's Gordon Burns sitting with several friends - clearly having been to the match themselves. It wasn't the first time I'd seen him on there in such circumstances so I didn't pay much attention (and, admittedly, it was ONLY Gordon Burns. Might have been different had it been Lucy Meacock).

Anyway, cutting to the chase, a young scruff was doing his monkey bars routine on the holdy poles, a true Salford born Nadia Comaneci. Gordon pipes up in his best strained tones;

"I think you'll find this isn't an adventure playground."

To which our young hero replies;

"Nah, it's the fookin' Krypton Factor, innit?"

Nothing else amusing has ever happened to me on public transport. Ever.
(Fri 30th May 2008, 16:48, More)

» The Dirty Secrets of Your Trade

If...
...you’re a fairly senior accountant at a large Higher Education establishment and you’re working on your financial projections, it’s probably best to remember that you get the money for undergraduate students from the Student Loans Company in February, not September when people actually register.

It’s also a good idea to bear in mind that if you abolish the 5% reduction in fees to foreign students for paying up front, then the chances are that said students will take advantage of the ability to pay in instalments, thereby further decreasing the amount of cash you’ve got sloshing around at this time of year.

That might have something to do with why every payroll run sends you further and further into the red.

And yes, that’s you I’m looking at, University of Manchester…
(Thu 27th Sep 2007, 15:37, More)

» Worst Band Ever

Did you have to let it Linger….
The Cranberries.

I said I liked The Cranberries because a girl I liked also said she liked them. We went to see them live together - my first concert experience, FFS. To my certain memory, we reached at state of ‘advanced canoodling’ listening to them on several different occasions. I still have two of their albums upstairs (16 (!!) years later) as it seems a shame to throw them out.

My name is Mattblack and I hate The bloody bastard Cranberries. Always have. Always will. Sorry Helen :(

EDIT: She liked Cast too. Jesus.
(Sun 2nd Jan 2011, 18:50, More)

» Strict Parents

We didn't have a VCR in the house...
..until 1992. My dad took those 'video nasty' stories a bit seriously.

Still had the buy the fanucking thing myself too!!!
(Thu 8th Mar 2007, 14:07, More)