b3ta.com user Ring Of Fire
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Longer than the follow up as it turns out.

Click for bigger (163 kb)

(Tue 3rd Aug 2010, 21:58, More)

beam it to the centre of the nearest star

(Sat 20th Feb 2010, 11:35, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Creepy!

I nearly died man.
I had being going out with the to be Mrs Ring of Fire for a little while, and earlier in the day had given her a copy of my front door key.

How did the love of my life react to me moving the relationship to the next level? The very first night of key ownership she waited until 2am, let herself in, snuck into my bedroom, knelt down putting her mouth about an inch from my ear and using a back of the throat gurgle said "I'VE COME FOR YOUR SOUL"
(Fri 8th Apr 2011, 21:54, More)

» Conspicuous Consumption

Some years ago I was skint.
Not skint as in ‘I can’t go out til I get paid on Friday’, properly flat broke with no idea of where my next meal was coming from and too proud to ask for help.
Sat in a cold house, terrible hunger pain and even worse nicotine craving I was bouncing off the walls. I decided to have a bit of a clear out and under the bed I found and found a five year old brown envelope. I looked in it and nearly fainted. A twenty pound note! A fucking twenty fucking pound fucking note in my hands. I was trembling, then I started screaming and jumping around the room. Twenty fucking pounds! I got some credits to heat the house, food & fags and invited a friend round for the chicken curry blowout. Sitting that evening in the kitchen with my mate, warm, full and slightly fuzzy from the booze he’d brought, knowing there was enough pasta and rice in the cupboard to keep me going for a few days is something I’ll never forget.

There’s no extravagance I can think of that will ever match that 20 pounds.
(Fri 29th Jul 2011, 14:23, More)

» Nights Out Gone Wrong

I got so pissed I fell asleep on the toilette.
I woke after god knows how long with numb legs and dribble down my shirt. Slipped out of my shoes to creep into the bedroom so as not to disturb The Lovely Mrs Ring Of Fire...and found myself standing in the public bar of my local with a shoe in each hand.
(Mon 28th Mar 2011, 21:35, More)

» House Guests

When my brother was a student in Norwich the old woman from the flat upstairs came to visit.
I say visit, more a case of the liquid from her rotting corpse leaking through his kitchen ceiling.


(Thu 6th Jan 2011, 19:07, More)

» Dad stories

My old man likes DIY and he likes cooking
these two interests came together when he made his own smoker from some sheet steel. The contraption was basically a metal barrel with a camping gas stove and a tray of wood chips at the bottom, metal wracks for the food, and a lid like a chairman's hat.

The problem occurred after the first couple of hours use. I can remember clearly that Doctor Who was just starting when there was a loud "WUMP" from the garden, then a roaring sound and a rather pleasing bright orange glow shining through the curtains.

A design flaw had caused the gas cylinder seal to melt and whoosh, his smoker had turned it's self into some sort of fishy blunderbuss, firing 5 pounds of herring into neighbouring trees and gardens.
(Sat 27th Nov 2010, 7:26, More)
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