» Crazy Relatives

The Stuff of Legends..
My parents are of the slightly older generation; my Mum was 40 when she had me, pretty unusual 25 years ago. My Mum is also very handy with a sewing machine and over the years, supplied my sister and I with the latest “fashions” (when your 12, your 52 year old mother, doesn’t quite “get” fashion) She made herself a pair of trousers, using 4 different types of tartan. Yes, tartan. Not the nice kind of dark tartans, 4 really bright, yellow, green-y ones..
My Mum also loves plants. We had a huge garden, always full of plants, trees, she’d keep them in the bath, the living room, always lots beside the piano (makes them happy apparently)
My Mum is a legend, ALL because of the following incident:
Arrives at our High School, to pick up my sister. Her classmates know what my Mum is like and lock sister in the cupboard till Mum gets out of the car…. Wearing, said tartan trousers, shocking pink socks, with the trousers tucked into them (don’t know why) the most battered pair of trainers (Hi tech ones from around 1988), a woolly body warmer and a t-shirt (thankfully, a normal one) and wanders into the school reception. Spotting that the office staff don’t take good care of the plants, she decides to take them home for some “TLC”. So, she starts to load about 20 plants from the school, into the car. Meanwhile my sisters classmates sit and laugh, while she is still in the cupboard. Eventually they let her out, sister goes down to usher Mum out the school before any MORE of her friends can see her, rushing a 57 year old woman, wearing the most obnoxious pair of trousers, shouting loudly about how these poor plants were all dying. That was nearly 10 years ago and we have tried in vain to dispose of the trousers, but they are my Mums favourite item of clothing. I haven’t let her make me any clothes recently.
I'm sure she's going mad: She recently asked "What are those green things that look like Lemons"
(Fri 6th Jul 2007, 22:24, More)

» Strict Parents

Rachaelswipe..
My flat-mates parents actually left him for an afternoon at the local "bad boys school" to teach him a lesson. He can still remember it like it was yesterday. 5 years old, crying, suitcase in had. He's 30 this year..
(Mon 12th Mar 2007, 15:29, More)

» DIY disasters

Paint..
According to the decorators that our Landlords in Leeds sent round... (Avtar Properties anyone?)

If you paint over a leak with oil based paint, it fixes the leak. Voila.


I didn't believe him.
(Sun 6th Apr 2008, 12:29, More)

» Dentists

My dentist
Was called Mrs Twizleton. Seriously, she looked like a man in drag.
(Mon 6th Nov 2006, 11:21, More)

» Terrible food

Kedgeree..
I know at least on person reading this can relate to this story:

Take Rice, boiled eggs and smoked haddock. Mix together and you have possibly one of the most vile concoctions known to man.
Ewwwwww, we went for pizza and it was lovely!

Other student related food diasters:The Great Graham House Morrison's Sausage Challenge.

Ingredients:
1x bag of 20 Morrisons Bettabuy Sausages.
Meat content: Less than 3% of horse bollocks and cheeks of camels..
Add to this at least 7 silly students..
Record?! All 20 sausages eaten in under 10 minutes...

*barf*
(Sat 19th May 2007, 0:32, More)