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» Common

What Lies Below
I was living out in the bush in the far north of Australia many years ago. You have seen movies set in this sort of place I am sure. Crocodile Dundee type stuff but toned down to reflect reality (I hope you have made the effort to track down the wonderful film Ten Canoes btw).

Anyway, one night I was drinking in a pub in a small town in the back end of nowhere. The majority of patrons were farmers and bushies and there were also a significant number of aborigines who had come in from their bush camps to get alcohol. In addition tourism was establishing itself as a local industry at the time and there were a few visitors from an American run tour group in attendance. There was one woman in this group of well-to-do tourists who was in her 50s, flashy smile, well structured, a bit sexy, some innate dignity. She was probably a lovely person in her natural habitat but she was over dressed for an outback pub and out of place. She had the designer khaki, the Timberland boots, the earrings and flashy pearl necklace, the expensive bush hat draped behind her; all together more posed than functional. But bless her – she was trying at least.

She might have been trying a bit too hard though. She wandered over to a high mileage, wizened, gap-toothed aboriginal elder who happened to be wearing around her neck a string of crocodile teeth laced with a leather thong. The visitor wasn’t trying to cause offence I am sure but she managed it anyway by saying ‘Oh, how lovely. Your people must value crocodile teeth as much as my people value pearls’. The aboriginal woman considered her for a moment then slowly shook her head and turned away saying scornfully ‘Any cunt can open an oyster’.
(Sat 18th Oct 2008, 6:27, More)

» My most treasured possession

Bit of a dilemma
The other halfs cooking: I dont treasure it, but I regularly rescue it from a fire.
(Fri 9th May 2008, 10:42, More)

» Bullies

Bullying is natural - all species do it.
Even sticky notes

(Wed 20th May 2009, 21:34, More)

» Trolls

Trolling should be done subtly. So far we’ve seen lots of folk displaying overt nastiness, which of course isn’t at all the same thing. It would be good to see future examples containing much sneakier trolls.
(Sun 22nd May 2011, 19:49, More)

» Tales of the Unexplained

Uni Days
When I was at uni we had a visiting professor who gave a lecture on supernatural occurrences. Pretty interesting stuff.

First up, he asked "How many of you believe in ghosts?" and about a third of the people put their hand up. So then he said “How many of you think you have seen a ghost?”, and about 20 people put their hand up. He seemed pleased by this and he said "Ok, let’s go one step further: Who here has talked to a ghost?" About 5 people put their hand up. So he says “And how many of you have touched a ghost?” Only 2 people put their hand up this time. So he says “Ok, last question: How many of you have made love to a ghost?” And just one kid right at the back of the lecture theatre sticks his hand up.

Now the professor wasn’t expecting anyone to respond to that question and it threw him off balance. So he says “I’ve been giving this lecture of many years, and no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. Can you please come forward and share your experience”. So this kid comes walking all the way up to the front and stands at the podium, looking nervous and embarrassed. So the professor says “So, please, tell us all what it was like to make love with a ghost”. And the kid said “Er, bugger, from way back there I could have sworn you said goat”.
(Fri 4th Jul 2008, 10:34, More)
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