» Conned

Deaf and Dumb lighter sales
Okay, not one to normally post but this is one of those ones that's too good to resist.

A good mate of mine who I shall call Steve(oddly enough that's what his parents call him too), was on holiday in the canaries a couple of years ago.

One night he was in a bar with his partner and a few other tourists that he'd got matey with when in walked a young lady who proceeded to place a card on each table explaining that she was deaf and dumb, she would like the good folk of this bar to buy a lighter from her as this was how she made ends meet. My mate Steve smells a rat, he'd been conned by lookie lookie men in the past and was'nt having this at all. He told all and sundry that she was a con artist and even totted up that she must be earning in the hundreds nightly. She catches Steve's eye and quickly hurries round collecting her cards before she is well and truly rumbled.

Steve with an air of smugness, turned round and said to the assembled crowd (clearly impressed with his powers of deduction) 'well that got rid of that scamming bitch' and rather than just sit back and take the plaudits, he had one other final act to perform before being hastily headhunted to Scotland Yard. 'Watch this' says he, the girl was out of the bar which was one floor up and walking down the pavement outside. Steve took a handful of change and threw it so it landed behind her, brilliant jingle jangle noise behind her and everyone in the vicinity turned to look at the pennies from heaven.

All that is, except for one person who carried on walking another 20 yards without flinching and then started having a spectacular argument with her equally deaf and dumb boyfriend in sign language, probably wondering why she had'nt flogged anything.

Steve for his part got the evil eye from everyone in the bar and those who saw it play out from street level. Honestly, throwing coins at a deaf beggar, how low can you go?.

Length?..........never mind the quality, feel the width.
(Mon 22nd Oct 2007, 13:40, More)

» My Greatest Regrets

PREFECTion
Regrets?, I dont do regrets..........................well except this one time.

Have you ever had a meeting of minds with someone who ticks just about everyone of your boxes? Makes you laugh? Spends illicit afternoons on email when you should both be working? Sharing deep and intimate ideas and fantasies, even though you've never clapped eyes on that person?. You get where I'm coming from anyway.

Just this once, I regret not being single. Would've been a blast I'm sure.

So, to my favourite Prefect. Make sure you find an absolute cracker!
(Fri 6th Oct 2006, 9:51, More)

» Inappropriate crushes

Currently crushing on a B3TA'n
I am in the process of stalking Ancrenne.

Frankly the thought of a 30 something woman with the mind of a highly hormoned teen girl, makes my trousers dance.

I would gladly drink piss through a tramps sock for 15 minutes in her boudoir.
(Tue 3rd Oct 2006, 10:26, More)

» Best Films Ever

Selective cut and paste follows
Well I like them anyway:-
Dead mans shoes,
Almost Famous,
Angels with Dirty Faces,
Batoru rowaiaru,
Braveheart,
Chasing Amy,
Clerks,
A Clockwork Orange,
Close Encounters of the Third Kind,
Dogma,
Enter the Dragon,
Fahrenheit 451,
Ferris Bueller's Day Off,
Gladiator,
The Godfather,
Hauru no ugoku shiro,
Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush,
Hotaru no haka,
Kaze no tani no Naushika,
Kill Bill: Vol. 1 & 2,
Kurenai no buta,
Léon,
Life of Brian,
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels,
Majo no takkyûbin,
Mimi wo sumaseba,
Mononoke-hime,
Planet of the Apes,
Pulp Fiction,
Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi,
Snatch,
Tenkû no shiro Rapyuta,
The Time Machine,
Them,
Tonari no Totoro,
Trainspotting,
Triplettes de Belleville,
The Usual Suspects,
Walk the Line,
The Wicker Man.
(Fri 18th Jul 2008, 12:43, More)

» Personal Ads

Teran
Bunghole
(Wed 19th Sep 2007, 14:36, More)