b3ta.com user alithebastard
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» Wanking Disasters Part II

Q:whats the most sensitive part of you when your having a wank?
A: Your hearing!
(Thu 17th Feb 2011, 12:48, More)

» Babysitters

Unlikely but true
When I was 12ish my babysitter was in 19 yrs old and also worked as a dental technician. 2 fap fantasies in 1. I did get to shag her a few years later when i met her some xmas party thingy which was taking place at the hotel where she was now working.She didnt seeem to mind that i was fullfilling my teen dream by giving her a portion. Nice of her really.No Honda Accord involved but I did have a vauxhaul Viva at the time,
(Fri 29th Oct 2010, 12:04, More)

» School Trips

school trips
at sixth form we went on the annual skiing trip, mainly made up of spotty oiks. First night and someone decides to have a party in their room, lots and lots of cheap booze purchased from nearby shops. I had my first, but unfortunatley not my last, episode of getting humungously pished. Apparently everyone decided to go to the disco downstairs- me and a couple of others only lasted 5 mins as too pissed to stand up let alone dance. Next morning woke up with massive hangover lying on the floor of our room. All the beds had been thrown out of a window by some of the less pissed spotty twunts.They had also broken down our door for which we had to fork out the dosh to replace it.The teachers then blamed us for everything else that went wrong during the rest of the week. As soon as we arrived back in UK the first thing i do is slap the chief twunt and threaten to kick his head in if a comes within 10 feet of me again, felt a lot better after that.
Ignore the length feel the width- long and thin too far in, short and thick does the trick.
(Tue 12th Dec 2006, 15:37, More)

» First World Problems

People who moan about their commute every day on overcrowded public transport. Well at least they dont have to climb on to the roof to find a space....thats proper overcrowding. And also they are usally just from the south east anyway and so are classed as tossers by the rest of the country as well.Not a rant honest
(Tue 6th Mar 2012, 16:47, More)

» Iffy crushes

Kirsty Allsop
She sound so frightfully plummy, like she got my plums in her mouth. Any posh bird really
(Tue 11th Oct 2011, 16:25, More)
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