b3ta.com user legion1978
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Profile for legion1978:
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Dan the man

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» Housemates from hell

Ham Butties?
My little sister used to rent a room in Seven Sisters with an assortment of weirdos, one particularly lovely "lady", was convinced that someone was stealing her ham (slices of) Whether this was true or not I think pales into insignificance when you consider her retalliation was to wipe the remaining pieces on her front bottom, presumably for consumption later...

Lovely stuff...

She was also a particularly large and sweaty beast I might add.
(Wed 11th Apr 2007, 16:18, More)

» Spoooky Coincidence

siblings
A few years ago me and Mrs. Legion went on holiday to Turkey with her sister and boyfriend, a great time was had by all. After numerous break ups and reconcilliations we split up about a year after that holiday (were back together now!) After the collapse of this relationship I decided I wasn't going to let this romance lark do me out of a summer break and went on a two week hol with a bird from work to lets say...Yugoslavia. I had to tell my ex I was going away with a male friend so to avoid a big kicking off session. I casually lied about who was going thinking I did pretty well in leading her up the garden path. Sadly when we boarded the plane her sister and boyfriend who I'd been to Turkey with the year previously were sat next to us on the same flight. The awkwardness was supreme, so much for white lies...
(Fri 9th Feb 2007, 11:04, More)

» Dentists

heir lip
When the news was broken to me I needed a full (barb wire style) brace at 12 years young I was pretty distraught. When I met my incompetant ortho-dontist I was even more gutted. He was about 5 ft tall drove a huge porsche and caused me lots of pain. Putting the brace on left my gums bleeding, subsequent removal (1 year) later also wrecked. He even fitted me with dual elastic bands thus making feeding impossible. The most off putting thing was his own deformity, he had a heir lip or something like that, I spent my days after school staring at his rogue mouth while he ripped my gums to shreds. I didn't go to the dentist for years after but have got back into it recently for the first time since. And the fool tw*tted me with the x-ray machine to add insult to injury.

I hope he's dead now...
(Thu 2nd Nov 2006, 16:14, More)