» Advice from Old People

Advice from the Bus
Many moons ago I was sitting on the bus returning from a boring day at 6th form when two old duffers get on the bus.

Now one of these poor old sods had a stinking cold. The other elderly gentleman offered the following advice "All you need to cure a cold is a cup of hot milk and a bottle of Whiskey." Apparently all you have to do is "Drink the bottle of whiskey before the milk gets cold."

Never mind the quality feel the width.
(Thu 19th Jun 2008, 16:57, More)

» Buses

Advice from old people
Many moons ago I regularly had to take a bus from my tiny little village into Sixth Form College in Eastleigh (one of the armpits of Southampton). This was normally a tedious affair that resulted in you having to sit next to some smelly old duffer who probably thought they were still rationing soap.

On one winter afternoon I was dutifully skipping a chemistry class and returning home early to engage in far more interesting activities with my then girlfriend. Upon reaching the rancid shopping centre in the centre of Eastleigh two elderly gentlemen boarded. One of the poor old duffers was suffering from a stinking cold. As these two gentlemen sat down I was blessed with overhearing the following advice:

Duffer 1: “Cold?”
Duffer 2: “Yes! Bloody stinker…worse than a German sniper.”
D1: Best way to cure a cold you need a half bottle of whiskey and a glass of warm milk.
D2: What? You put the whiskey in the milk.
D1: Nope…you got to drink the entire bottle of whiskey before the milk gets cold. Cure anything that.

Wonderful advice that…lived by it for years!
(Tue 30th Jun 2009, 16:12, More)

» Flirting

Do you know how to spot when a woman is flirting with you?
Me neither.
(Tue 23rd Feb 2010, 15:03, More)

» My Collection

I collect...
Psycho Ex-Girlfriends. Doing quite well have a good dozen or so! My favorites include:
- Ran off with my best mate and tried to blame it on my parents!
- Said "Yes" to the will you marry me question then tried to deny all knowledge of the question.
- One that phones me up from time to time to ask if I want to fly half way across the world for really quite rubbish sex.

And I'm working on this new one...she's so attention seeking I can't even play World Of Warcraft with out her trying to cuddle me. Damn her! I have Murlocs to kill!
(Fri 12th Jan 2007, 13:03, More)

» Crazy People off the Internet

Everyone is a bit mad...
But if you want some quality insanity have a wander over to forums.carm.org - it a Christian website but the ID/Evolution board has some prize religious nut jobs. My favourites are:

Supersport - a guy that is just so unpleasant and stupid that he is proud of having cheated in order to get his high school diploma. He also posted on an online memorial for a guy that died a couple of years ago that said guy was a baby murderer and other foulness. The board was set up by the dead guy's family and this bloke refuses to see how it was wrong or why he should apologise.

Nouveau - Someone that claims to have been the CEO of a fortune 500 company, to have five advanced science degrees, to be a surgeon, to be a published economist, organised the Pan American Games, and to have raced yachts at a speed of 35knots/hour. Oh and he thinks that anyone that accepts evolution is a Nazi.

dad - a guy that believes that science can't say anything about the universe outside of our solar system because once you go outside the solar system it's all different and just looks like the universe is consistent.

I love reading the works of religious nut jobs. It reminds me why I am so happy to have gotten over my religion.
(Thu 22nd Nov 2012, 16:08, More)