b3ta.com user Gooch
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» Mobile phone disasters

A few months back Mrs Gooch and I were having relationship difficulties
We decided to have a break from each other from a while to work out what would be best for the future.
The upshot was that I moved back in with my parents, it was hideous.
I am 32, lived alone for the last 12 years and am more than used to my own independence.
As soon as I unpacked my bag my Mum went into "Mothering Overdrive", explaining how the Washing machine worked, telling me how to adjust the temperature in the shower, at one point I even thought she was going to clean my cheek with dreaded Licky tissue.

I had been there for about a week and was feeling really penned in and depressed about life in general, My Mum and Dad decided I needed perking up by feeding me Large Gin and tonics for the evening and going over all old family stories etc. By the time they turned in for the night I was plastered. As I sat alone downstairs contemplating life I could hear ominous creaking noises coming from their bedroom.

I decided to text my brother the good news, it went something like this:- "Mate, having a shit time here, Mum being way too much, to make it worse I can hear Dad drilling her upstairs. I am in hell"

I sent the message and then heard a text alert go off upstairs, I drunkenly checked my sent item and realised to my horror I had managed to spaz the recently used list and sent the message to MY FUCKING MUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Breakfast was fun the next morning :-(

in all fairness my parents are absolutely quality people, always there for me and I don't mean any malign at all in this post

(Thu 30th Jul 2009, 13:07, More)

» Banks

I had a credit card when I was 18, very handy when your on a YTS scheme earning £35 a week
After about a month it was predictably maxed out and then i struggled to make the repayments.
I phoned the customer service line to explain I wouldn't be able to make the monthly payment. To be honest they were really helpful and understanding but I will never forget what the Girl said to me:-

"Remember son, It's a credit limit, not a credit target"
(Wed 22nd Jul 2009, 8:59, More)

» Common

Didn't think I was that bad...........
Recent events and reading through these posts has changed my opinion:-

Explaining this QOTW to my other half we started bickering because she thought “lounge” was the posh word for front room, I couldn't remember and had to double check.

I cooked my parents a Sunday roast yesterday to say thanks for lending us some money, they bought round a bottle of Lambrusco as they know its our favourite.

My Lounge/Sitting room is magnolia and sports a Dado rail (Put up by myself).

I once owned a Nova ffs.

I also brought my fiancée's engagement ring from Elizabeth Duke.
/hangs head in shame.

Please don't click I like this or my self esteem will be shattered forever.
(Mon 20th Oct 2008, 11:09, More)

» Food sabotage

Sort of the same...........
I went through a stage of taking party poppers apart to get hold of the explosive bit.
These can be fitted down the length of a cigerette with no trace, once smocked they explode into a comedy cartoon acme type flayed out banger,
all was fine until I managed to get red hot blims into my mates eyes, luckily he couldn't see so I ran like fook*....

* after pissing myself laughing then realising I nearly cost him his sight.

Length:- about an inch but mighty potent!
(Thu 18th Sep 2008, 16:24, More)

» Impulse buys

How many people here bought a PS3 on impulse?
Should have gone for the Xbox 360, half the price and has a better range of games.
(Fri 22nd May 2009, 9:51, More)
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