» Personal Ads

Strange woman seeks sane man for dating
One date was interesting. Stupidly I agreed to go around to hers for something to eat and drink, not thinking properly evidently. "I'll cook for you" she says.

So, I go, and meet the same face I saw on the photo, except when she walks away from me, and I see her in full profile, I realise that if she ran into the side of my car, it would be similar to the scene from Jurassic Park when the T-Rex flips them over. If my car could get through a tight space in the road, I don't think she could.

So, anyway, I continue on, thinking "Don't be shallow, you're not exactly slim yourself". A night follows eating quite literally, layers of cheese and onion baked in an oven, gagging as I tried to force it down my throat, and listening to said lady sat watching UKTV Food ranting on about what a gimp James Martin the chef is. Every time I tried to engage in conversation, even the simplest "generic compliment on your CD and DVD collection" chats were met by conversations regarding what repeat was airing on UKTV Food at the time. I began to realise why I barely fitted on a three seat sofa with her, inane scary psycho stares and all...

I was there less than two hours. As I left, I looked up at the house thinking "What room was I in?" It didn't take me long to find out, as she was stood in the window staring back at me, Norman Bates style.

You'd have thought the white smoke and rubber laid down by my car would have been indication enough of my lack of interest, maybe the lack of MSN contact... But a month later, my sister recieved a message on her MySpace "Hey, I like your band... I used to date your brother... oops...". The psycho alarm was ringing...

One stern MySpace message back telling her to fuck off, as one date does not constitute "dating" later, and I'm still VERY careful whenever I venture into Moseley.
(Mon 17th Sep 2007, 10:04, More)

» Personal Ads

Is it fair game
To post links to some of the freaks on the web looking for love. I've just found someone who makes Beth Ditto look svelte, and claims to have a little boy... For breakfast was that? I mean, I am overweight, but this one looks like blinking would leave them out of breathe...
(Mon 17th Sep 2007, 11:13, More)

» Pathological Liars

One particular unpleasant arse
I knew claimed that he saw a bus topple on its side once. His surname was such, that instead of his usual Ball, he was rechristened Ballshit due to his pathological lying.

Another one, back in 1998, on my ICT course at college, claimed he had a Pentium III, by splicing the then new Pentium II and an original Pentium together. Suffice to say, he was on the course less than a month.

I also worked with quite an unpleasant little scrote who claimed to have been the drummer for the Spice Girls big gig in Istanbul in the late 90s... But when faced with the evidence of a video not featuring him on the drums, suddenly changed his tune to only drumming on the rehearsals...
(Mon 3rd Dec 2007, 12:06, More)

» Personal Ads

This HotorNot malarky is funny
Its so hilarious to watch all the ringing thats going on... Did we expect anything less? :-)
(Tue 18th Sep 2007, 16:11, More)