b3ta.com user Plumstix
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Profile for Plumstix:
Profile Info:

I'm an Essex bloke working in London.

I've been hiding in the shadows and watching you all for several years...

Recent front page messages:


none

Best answers to questions:

» Devastating Put-Downs

A guy I used to work for...
...once old me that he was at a comedy show and got up to go to the toilet. The comedian instantly pounced and shouted "where the fuck are you going?" to which my mate replied "for a piss before the comedian comes on". He told me the guy didn't know what to say to that. I don't know if it's true or not, but I thought I'd share.
(Thu 24th Nov 2011, 20:08, More)

» * PFFT *

Not me but my cousin...
...once got barred from a chinese takeaway / chippy for dropping a rather nasty silent one. He was told by the chinese lady "please to do that outside!" as he was shown to the door. I was crying with laughter, or maybe it was stinging my eyes. It was rank though.
(Fri 13th Jul 2007, 14:21, More)

» Gyms

There's a wierd freak...
who attends my local gym and she always seems to do the bare minimum on whatever she's doing. She never seems to break a sweat and spends hours in there. On any of the machines she has on only the first weight, then spends like 3 minutes doing 10 reps. When she's on the exercise bike she pedals at the slowest speed possible against the least resistance. I feel like screaming in her face "Why do you bother? Save yourself the monthly fee and go for a brisk walk everyday it would take more effort".

There's also the skull-fuck twins. I like to refer to them this way because they both have eyes that look like they have received occular cavity sex.

I really should put more effort into my own exercise and stop looking at the wierdos but I can't help myself.
(Sun 12th Jul 2009, 0:12, More)

» Phobias

Buttons
My wife has a phobia of buttons, the bigger and more plasticy they are the better response they bring. It might be a bit cruel but I like to see how close to her face I can get them before she goes mental.
(Thu 10th Apr 2008, 19:48, More)

» Where is the strangest place you have slept?

Standing up
I too have slept standing up, but this was in Fabric nightclub in London. I was driving so could not drink and not being especially into that sort of music (I was only there cos my gf at the time liked it) was bored off my tits. So I decided to stand in a corner and have a bit of a doze. I woke up a while later and went out and slept in the car.

Even better than that though a house party on New Years Eve 99, the dawn of the new millenium. By about 12:30 I've had enough booze and decide a snooze is in order. Found a bedroom with a couple asleep in a double bed. What do I do? Climb on the bed and lay between them, on top of the covers mind, until my gf came and found me at about 4.

Length? They would have found out if they'd woken up.
(Fri 29th Dec 2006, 12:59, More)
[read all their answers]