b3ta.com user Orangeygoodness
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» Failed

impossible exam
As part of my course at uni last year i had to take a subject called "the human body" basically about anatomy. At the time it was sweet, 10 weeks of lectures about the body and some time dissecting dead bodys.

The exam came. The examiner decided to ignore the fact we had done 10 weeks worth of lectures and decided to base an entire test on what some corpse fuckning doctor had mumbled during one incomprhencable session where i was distracted by the fact i surrounded by decaying bodys and skulls in a dissection lab (plus embalmed baby, more annoyed i didnt pocket it on the way out. what a conversation peice).
I answered the one question i knew and then wrote:
"I wasted 2 weeks revising for this test. A test that contains none of the things i was revising. So cheers for that. Heres a picture of a tree".
I then proceeded to draw the most a ellaborate tree ever, one that spand the entire 5 pages of the exam book.
8%. lowest mark i got for anything ever. I also got a bitter note telling me not to waste an academics valuble time. If only i'd drawn a comedy phallous insted...

Luckily it turns out no-one did much better than me. We all complained, signed a petition etc and sent it to the top bods. Allthough they never admitted that the examiner was a retard they bumped all our marks up.
8% became 42%, just a pass.
So i didnt fail after all, sorry for wasting everyones time.

length? its part opptical illusion mate
(Sun 7th Jan 2007, 15:38, More)

» Debt pron

The best solution
I'm a third year molecular medicine student with a student loan looking to go on to teach science (the goverment gives you 250 a week to train and 5000 golden hello when you qualify, sweet)so im not too worried allthough the loans are pilling up and im into my overdraft.

My little brother however flunked out of college, fucked up getting into the police force and works at JJB sports.

Yet he's still better off than me, why?
He gets married to his girlfriend next year, her dad's a multimillionaire and has bought them a house (no joke). To make matters worse i think shes an evil cow so am unlikely to see any of this money myself.
What a jammy funt
(Mon 27th Nov 2006, 15:05, More)

» Work Experience

In a Hospital
My second bit of work experience (my first being boots, very boring) Was in my local hospital on a stroke ward (i was trying to do medicine at Uni, i failed that). It was all very boring (and depressing talking to vegtables and an old lady with altzimer's who kept trying to escape) until i blagged my way into theatre. There i saw a Hernia operation on a women who was very very fat. She had had a stomach stapling to reduce her weight but then she simply liquidized her meals to get more in. The surgeon had to cut through about 4 inches of rancid yellow fat to get to the problem. After seeing that I now really look after my diet and feel you should too.
(Fri 11th May 2007, 11:06, More)

» Picky Eaters

Someones girlfiend...
Will not eat food thats touching. By this i mean if 2 types of food touch each other on the plate it "freaks her out". She almost had a small tantrum when i poured gravey over her roast.
I bought a whole load of those dip plates (the ones with the seperate compartments) in case she ever ends up over here again.
I wont eat parsnips. They make me gag.
(Thu 1st Mar 2007, 21:32, More)