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» Stupid Dares
I think what he did was a dare...
Where I come from (a small industrial town in the North East) one of the local teenage yobs who was well known in the area was dared to rob a school bus with his shiny new lighter shaped like a handgun. We'll call him, Fat Jabba, as that was his nickname (though not to his face) This was a lot of years ago & at the time I was in school, and it involved my school bus.
So anyway, on the way home and said school bus was rammed full of young secondry school kids, as one way of schools saving money was to put on as few school buses as possible. Bus comes to one of it stops on its route and Fat Jabba jumps on, replica gun in hand and says ever so politeley, "Ere givus all yer fucking money now dicked!". As if a secondry school bus is going to have anything more than shitloads of change.
The whole bus goes quiet, absolutley deathly quiet (none of us knew it was a replica at the time). Expecting the minimum paid bus driver to not give a flying fuck about a shitload of change and hand it all over nervously with shaking hands and sweaty palms, but he suprised us all.
"No," says he. Not a single degree of emotion on his face, just those simple two little letters said in a very monotonous fashion and a plain expression, *BAM* balls back in your court Jabba. All eyes turn to the tubby one. "Err, O-O-OK." And off the fat boy waddles at high speed and red cheeks.
The bus errupts in laughter and is the talk of the school yard the following day. Everyday-bit-of-a-wanker-bus-driver turns into classroom hero!
(Fri 2nd Nov 2007, 16:52, More)
I think what he did was a dare...
Where I come from (a small industrial town in the North East) one of the local teenage yobs who was well known in the area was dared to rob a school bus with his shiny new lighter shaped like a handgun. We'll call him, Fat Jabba, as that was his nickname (though not to his face) This was a lot of years ago & at the time I was in school, and it involved my school bus.
So anyway, on the way home and said school bus was rammed full of young secondry school kids, as one way of schools saving money was to put on as few school buses as possible. Bus comes to one of it stops on its route and Fat Jabba jumps on, replica gun in hand and says ever so politeley, "Ere givus all yer fucking money now dicked!". As if a secondry school bus is going to have anything more than shitloads of change.
The whole bus goes quiet, absolutley deathly quiet (none of us knew it was a replica at the time). Expecting the minimum paid bus driver to not give a flying fuck about a shitload of change and hand it all over nervously with shaking hands and sweaty palms, but he suprised us all.
"No," says he. Not a single degree of emotion on his face, just those simple two little letters said in a very monotonous fashion and a plain expression, *BAM* balls back in your court Jabba. All eyes turn to the tubby one. "Err, O-O-OK." And off the fat boy waddles at high speed and red cheeks.
The bus errupts in laughter and is the talk of the school yard the following day. Everyday-bit-of-a-wanker-bus-driver turns into classroom hero!
(Fri 2nd Nov 2007, 16:52, More)
» Stupid Dares
Ah just remembered,
a friend of mine who is in the army as a bullet dodger told me about one of his mates. Apparently this guy will get a tattoo of anything as long as you pay for it.
Obviously pissed up army lads with too much money means this guy is covered in the things. So one day my mate is telling me about the new tattoo he's got, "Yeah he's got King Kong on his chest!" "King Kong on his chest? What like just the head or him on the tower or what?" "Erm, no, just King Kong on his chest, in big bold letters. Got it in Cancun, one of the other lads paid to get it done."
(Fri 2nd Nov 2007, 16:57, More)
Ah just remembered,
a friend of mine who is in the army as a bullet dodger told me about one of his mates. Apparently this guy will get a tattoo of anything as long as you pay for it.
Obviously pissed up army lads with too much money means this guy is covered in the things. So one day my mate is telling me about the new tattoo he's got, "Yeah he's got King Kong on his chest!" "King Kong on his chest? What like just the head or him on the tower or what?" "Erm, no, just King Kong on his chest, in big bold letters. Got it in Cancun, one of the other lads paid to get it done."
(Fri 2nd Nov 2007, 16:57, More)
» Conned
THIS IS NOT A CON
Dear sir,
I am a rich Nigerian Prince, who due to corrupt evil government, as frozen all my familys bank accounts except mine. Luckily before this they transferred all thier money to me. Now we are escaping to UK we need to transfr muney.
We need soemone we can trust and after our lawyers cross-reference 2000 people in your country we found you to be most suitable and trustwurthy.
Wwe need to transfer £20,000,000,000,000,000 UK Sterling dollars to your account and after thinking about this we have decided to let you keep 15%.
All we will need is your Bank name, account number, sort code, name, address, nationalyity, age, hair colour, favorite food, age you started puberty and your best fantasy shag.
THIS IS NOT A CON. I promise.
Yours Sincerley,
Lots of Love,
Still not a scam,
please give us your details,
Prince Pu-Pu Nahemaputalochatetapalalon III
(p.s. we won't steal from you, honest!)
(Thu 18th Oct 2007, 23:13, More)
THIS IS NOT A CON
Dear sir,
I am a rich Nigerian Prince, who due to corrupt evil government, as frozen all my familys bank accounts except mine. Luckily before this they transferred all thier money to me. Now we are escaping to UK we need to transfr muney.
We need soemone we can trust and after our lawyers cross-reference 2000 people in your country we found you to be most suitable and trustwurthy.
Wwe need to transfer £20,000,000,000,000,000 UK Sterling dollars to your account and after thinking about this we have decided to let you keep 15%.
All we will need is your Bank name, account number, sort code, name, address, nationalyity, age, hair colour, favorite food, age you started puberty and your best fantasy shag.
THIS IS NOT A CON. I promise.
Yours Sincerley,
Lots of Love,
Still not a scam,
please give us your details,
Prince Pu-Pu Nahemaputalochatetapalalon III
(p.s. we won't steal from you, honest!)
(Thu 18th Oct 2007, 23:13, More)
» Terrible Parenting
Well...
my Dad used to hit me quite a lot as a child, which I thought was just cos I had been naughty, but as I got older I realised it was actually quite abusive. When I finally started to argue back and not let him push me around anymore (mid teens) he started using a clenched fist.
It would always start out with an argument until it got aggressive, but if I ended up with a black eye or bruise, he'd just twist the story to my mother so it sounded like I started it.
About a year ago was the worst, just split up with a long-term girlfriend, and as I tried to leave the house, crying and pissed off, we ended up in a fight, only this time he ended up playing bouncy castle with my head.
As always he twisted the story when the police turned up and it turned out it was cos I was drunk and he was doing me a favour by not letting me leave the house because I was going to hurt someone/myself.
A year on and I still can't afford to move out but hopefully not for much longer. Strange thing is, I never felt less alone than at that time, all my friends were there for me when I was going through it all, even work mates or those that I hadn't seen for quite a while, offering me a place to stay, someone to talk to.
Moral of the story is, even if you feel like your friends arn't paying you much attention to you latley, it's probablly because they have problems of their own, but when you need them, they'll be there for you.
Not a very funny story but life's a bitch.
(Fri 17th Aug 2007, 23:31, More)
Well...
my Dad used to hit me quite a lot as a child, which I thought was just cos I had been naughty, but as I got older I realised it was actually quite abusive. When I finally started to argue back and not let him push me around anymore (mid teens) he started using a clenched fist.
It would always start out with an argument until it got aggressive, but if I ended up with a black eye or bruise, he'd just twist the story to my mother so it sounded like I started it.
About a year ago was the worst, just split up with a long-term girlfriend, and as I tried to leave the house, crying and pissed off, we ended up in a fight, only this time he ended up playing bouncy castle with my head.
As always he twisted the story when the police turned up and it turned out it was cos I was drunk and he was doing me a favour by not letting me leave the house because I was going to hurt someone/myself.
A year on and I still can't afford to move out but hopefully not for much longer. Strange thing is, I never felt less alone than at that time, all my friends were there for me when I was going through it all, even work mates or those that I hadn't seen for quite a while, offering me a place to stay, someone to talk to.
Moral of the story is, even if you feel like your friends arn't paying you much attention to you latley, it's probablly because they have problems of their own, but when you need them, they'll be there for you.
Not a very funny story but life's a bitch.
(Fri 17th Aug 2007, 23:31, More)