» Going Too Far

pease
once at work (pub) the chef (female, minger bad tempered & ginger too) ran out of peas and kicked up a massive fuss, and started shouting at me or workmate aaron to go get some peas from the shop. stupid bitch. not being one to miss out on the oppertunity to push her low tolerance level to the limit, i & aaron decided to wind her up with an array of very poor pea puns for the next few hours. she was getting quite upset now, and her poor communication skills only allowed her to shout a torrent of profanaties at me, but really if it wasn't for her obnoxious attitude....

anyway, this all calmed down, we finally ran out of pea puns, and humbly apologised to the chef, only to get a HUGE piece of card and write the words 'no peas' on it, and then stick it on the windscreen of her car. we both knew she wouldnt find it funny and knew it was going too far, and she would most definately get very pissed off. anyway, she finished her shift, so we ran out to the yard, which overlooks the carpark, hid behind the fence and waited for her to leave.

her jaw dropped. "RIGHT! GET HERE NOW!"

i stuck me head over the fence, 'c'mon we're just having a laugh.'

me & aaron wetting ourselves, him unsucessfully trying to sneak away, shirking the blame on me, twunt.

the sight of her having a full blown tantrum, toys out the pram and all, in the carpark was ace, albiet slightly undignified for her.

humourless bitch grassed up to the boss..

he said, 'dont worry, ginger people havent got a sense of humour' and left it at that. result.

the irony was we had peas along, she just looked in the wrong freezer.
(Wed 15th Nov 2006, 13:16, More)

» Why should you be fired from your job?

not my current job
but i'm amazed i never got fired working for a well known pizza franchise as a manager....

*not turning up
*stealing wine/beer
*eating literally everything and letting staff eat what they want and drink what they want
*riding a bike around the restruant when it was still open
*taking about 15kg of sweets home.
*getting stoned on a regular basis and locking myself in the office for hours on end.
*not doing paperwork
*claiming pick'n'mix as a company expense

i'm sure there was more.
oops.
(Tue 14th Aug 2007, 7:23, More)

» Guilty Secrets

well,
i had a wank on a bus once.


but it was empty and i was sat at the back.
(Mon 3rd Sep 2007, 22:50, More)

» Pointless Experiments

fizzy tea
my brother tried to make this years ago with a freshly brewed cuppa and a soda stream. he was studying chemistry at the time.
(Sat 26th Jul 2008, 22:05, More)

» Pathological Liars

well,
my mate kept a pet scorpion, and he had a megadrive.

he kept them in the attic.

was anyone allowed to see them?

were they fu
(Fri 30th Nov 2007, 20:42, More)