» Asking people out

Alcohol seems to be a common thread...
Me and all my drinking buddies went all out one evening and decided to splurge on ridiculously expensive booze. Being young and poor, this was an extremely exciting event. After pretentiously tasting each bottle, we decided it was a good time to go out and belt out the entirety of Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody in public.

As we were drunkenly stumbling back home, I found myself alone with one guy I didn't know very well. However, he seemed intent on knowing me very, very well. On the way, he uttered two lines that I will never forget as long as I live:

"You're so pretty and delicate... you remind me of my cousin."

"Your... what?"

"My cousin... You look just like her."

If slightly eerie incestuous comments weren't enough, he added the icing on the cake:

"Would you give me... consent?"

Gentlemen, please, please do not ask to sleep with a girl in the context of not raping her. She won't like it at all.
(Tue 15th Dec 2009, 19:26, More)