b3ta.com user RickGrimes
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» Stupid Dares

And whilst I'm there
Another drunken evening, another stroll home, eating some dog in a pitta on the way. We pass a swanky Italian restaurant, all glass fronted, full of people looking out the window at the drunken rabble.

"What the fuck are they all looking at" says a mate of mine, "Dunno", says another mate, "give them something to look at ####, show them your cock".
"I can do better than that", he says, "Here, hold my 'bab"

He pulled his trousers down turned arse to window and laid a humungous turd right there on the street.

I have honestly never seen so many people, knife and fork in hand, open mouthed and frozen in time with a omfg look on their faces.

Length? Not kidding it was like a donkey had laid it.
(Fri 2nd Nov 2007, 12:40, More)

» Phobias

Gay ghosts
give each other the willies.

(Fri 11th Apr 2008, 7:49, More)

» Terrible food

When me and my mates were 16 and full of vigour we used to have a middle of the week drinking club, to alleviate the tedium of school. So every Wednesday night we would head to my mates house, and have an umbajay. This was similar to a 'lethal' whereby portions of different spirits were mixed together. We included a bit of beer and made up a nice bowlful. We would then take it in turns to place a colander on our heads, pick up the bowl and take a glug.

Then you had to brew up a massive greenie and flob it into the mix and shout Umbajay.

And pass.

The game did not end until the whole concoction was gone, and believe me it got lumpy towards to bottom.

The defining moment was one of my bearded mates having one of the last glugs, looking at us with several people's phlegm clinging to his face hair, saying 'It's not too bad this'.

Yes, yes it was, but yet so so good.
(Thu 17th May 2007, 11:30, More)

» My Collection

Ladies clothes
I have a fine collection of ladies clothes, shoes and handbags - in fact all of my wages go on them. I say it's my collection, but generally my wife and daughter do the purchasing and wearing, I just have the honour of paying.

Thus I have no other collections due to lack of funds.
(Fri 12th Jan 2007, 12:30, More)

» Why I was late

Just a bit..........
The other morning on the way to work, I managed to pour half a cup of very milky, frothy coffee down myself.

Made me a bit latte.

Cheque please.
(Thu 28th Jun 2007, 13:50, More)
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