b3ta.com user scythesmith
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» Horrible things I've done to a loved one

Just keep on drinking..
I'm a long time lurker and this is my first post so.. Please be gentle and not too much grit in the Vaseline!
Our little daughter is three months old now, and I've managed to blame quite a few farts on her. And my darling hubby has been none the wiser so far. .
One day when she was the tender and squiggly age of six weeks we were in the middle of a feed when I had to let go of some rather hot and Chinese food-generated botty air. As the silent payload assaulted my darling's tiny nostrils the look on her helpless little face was priceless, but she kept on drinking.. That's my girl!

*edit* I've just twigged why she has a sly smile on her face when she pukes up on me..
(Fri 17th Jun 2011, 8:12, More)

» Dodgy work ethics

A big supermarket chain..
with the first letter of the name between S and U in the alphabet.. and a much younger Scythesmith working there as an underpaid and overworked supervisor. Not much changes in retail apart from me not working there any more! :)

Anyhoo, two little stories I remember.. ~~wavy lines of nostalgia~~

The first when I was a Saturday kid, on the checkouts. Having been brought up to be honest, and thinking it to be the best policy, when I found twenty quid on the floor one day I innocently handed it in.. Bearing in mind that was nearly two weeks wages for me at the time in the late Eighties. A week later I enquired if anyone had collected it, and if I would be getting it back for being honest, to be told it had 'gone into the staff fund' and that was that. I never did find any more cash after that but if I had you can bet I wouldn't have handed it in. I worked there for years after that incident and not once did we ever get anything from the 'staff fund'. Bollocks.

The second story is from a retail training day for said store, where supervisors polished up their management skills.
We were asked what we would do if, for example, there was a problem in the production of doughnuts in the bakery, and some metal shavings got into the mix and we knew about it before they went on sale.
Like most of my colleagues, I said that I would remove them from sale, check the bakery equipment over and make more doughnuts when it was safe to do so and contact another store for stock in the meantime.

Wrong answer.

Company policy at the time was to leave things as they were, put the knowingly contaminated food on sale and wait for complaints!

...Needless to say I'm always a bit curious to know how many food scares that involve recalls by the manufacturer were already expected by the company and they were also waiting for a complaint!

Cynical me?
(Mon 11th Jul 2011, 12:24, More)

» Bedroom Disasters

If that's what helping does for you..
I was about six years old and shared a room with my younger sister. We'd been watching my folks decorating all day and it was time for bed.

Being a helpful sort of kid, I spotted an edge of wallpaper that had curled up and decided, monkey-see-monkey-do stylee that I would do my bit. Carefully I peeled the paper off the wall, getting a whole strip off in one go!

My sis, not wanting to miss out, had woken up and we decided to have a bit of a competition to see who could remove the most whole sheets. I can't remember who won but we were found the next morning, on the floor, surrounded by what had been freshly applied wallpaper. Oops.

Length? About seven and a half feet each.
(Fri 24th Jun 2011, 14:48, More)