b3ta.com user Document Pocket
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Been reading all your stuff for 7 years! I'll give it a go..

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» Drunk Parents

My lovely ma
hasnt remembered my birthday now for 11 years in a row. I even send her emails and texts to remind her (no phone calls mind..bit awkward) so this year I decided to make things easier for her and go away for my birthday but take her for a drink in my local the night before I go. When I first arrive at her flat she asks me why i'm there so I lightly remind her and she comes back with "Yes I fucking know!" ...clearly not.

So anyways she's already had a bottle of rose to herself and then downs two bacardi and diets in the pub next to her house. When we finally arrive at my local we are greeted by a large group of my friends who have decided to join us...who are greeted with my mum hanging off my arm telling them this:

"When Lil was born I thought she was a boy...the doctors said "heres your daughter!" and I was like "Fuck off! Look at its bollocks" ..."No Miss..definatly a girl.." "No! Its a boy! Massive balls!"

I love her dearly but my friends still have sneaky glances when I'm wearing my skinnies.
(Fri 25th Feb 2011, 14:27, More)

» Horrible things I've done to a loved one

I pissed in my brothers shoe
and then blamed it on the foxes.
(Tue 21st Jun 2011, 14:46, More)

» Irrational Hatred

People who lick their fingers before turning pages or opening bags.
Just fuck off. You disgust me.
(Tue 5th Apr 2011, 9:28, More)

» Trolls

Phantom Menace was AMAZING.

(Fri 20th May 2011, 12:48, More)

» Bedroom Disasters

Maybe SuperSam11 will post his blog again?

(Mon 27th Jun 2011, 13:11, More)
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