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- a member for 21 years, 8 months and 8 days
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» Dad Jokes
"That's the dead centre of town"
whenever we pass a graveyard, which, seeing as there's one just down the road from our Gran's house, is pretty bleedin' often.
Well, to be honest, he doesn't say it every time. But even when he doesn't, you can see him thinking it - as, after 25 years of this, is every other person in the car.
Still makes me laugh, though. I think I may be sick.
(Wed 10th Dec 2003, 11:55, More)
"That's the dead centre of town"
whenever we pass a graveyard, which, seeing as there's one just down the road from our Gran's house, is pretty bleedin' often.
Well, to be honest, he doesn't say it every time. But even when he doesn't, you can see him thinking it - as, after 25 years of this, is every other person in the car.
Still makes me laugh, though. I think I may be sick.
(Wed 10th Dec 2003, 11:55, More)
» Worst Record Ever
Worst Record?
Ohhh there's so many, many's the happy hour that I've spent leafing through my CD collection, pulling out the odd one and wondering 'what the watermelon was I thinking?'
Two that I've never owned but must be mentioned, if only for their God-awful lyrics:
Bryan Adams and that no-mark dance act thing he did (Chicane?)
"Don't worry if the sun doesn't shine, it's been there before, there's no need to worry" I mean, just read that again - what the watermelon is that supposed to mean?
And anything by Eifel67, particularly their seminal hit whose name momentarily escapes me, but which went - "Everybody, come on everybody, move your body, come on everybody" repeated in an irritating nasal, Cod-English voice ad infinitum. And it reached number one. Christ.
(Thu 4th Dec 2003, 12:22, More)
Worst Record?
Ohhh there's so many, many's the happy hour that I've spent leafing through my CD collection, pulling out the odd one and wondering 'what the watermelon was I thinking?'
Two that I've never owned but must be mentioned, if only for their God-awful lyrics:
Bryan Adams and that no-mark dance act thing he did (Chicane?)
"Don't worry if the sun doesn't shine, it's been there before, there's no need to worry" I mean, just read that again - what the watermelon is that supposed to mean?
And anything by Eifel67, particularly their seminal hit whose name momentarily escapes me, but which went - "Everybody, come on everybody, move your body, come on everybody" repeated in an irritating nasal, Cod-English voice ad infinitum. And it reached number one. Christ.
(Thu 4th Dec 2003, 12:22, More)
» Local Nutters
Ooh crikey..
...this is one of those questions that you think you can't answer until you have a bit of a think about it. Personal favourites are:
1) The old lady who's name I've temporarily forgotten (Mrs Fisher?) who used to wander around St Andrews giving Christian leaflets to all the students. She was, of course, a local legend and subject of much derision and humour. Mind you, the rumour was that she was only trying to 'save' the students because her own son had been one and had died after drinking too much and jumping off the pier, so it's not that funny really is it? Is it? I mean, IS IT?
2) Sky-Blue flat cap, care in the community man who runs around Blackpool backwards. Ran up to my mate in Woolworths once, flailed his arms around at the shelves, shouted 'they've gone, they were all here yesterday' and then ran away. Backwards, of course.
3) The scary, Benny-From-Crossroads-alike (beanie hat and all) who came up to my sister and I while we were waiting for a bus in Acton by the little square next to the Safeways (a proper nutter haunt). He had a very long, pointy-looking stick that he was thrashing against his leg and was staring into the middle distance with lovely lumps of spittle gathering at the sides of his mouth. Strangely, all he said was 'Will they arrest me in East Finchley? What will happen to me if I go to East Finchley?' in a squeaky voice and then he left us alone.
I would apologise for length but, seeing as I'm laughing at people with obvious mental health problems, I'm clearly a bit of a cranberry. Phew, shades of that annoying bloke from the first series of Survivor there - used to paint himself in mud all the time. Anyone? Anyone?
(Fri 17th Sep 2004, 23:46, More)
Ooh crikey..
...this is one of those questions that you think you can't answer until you have a bit of a think about it. Personal favourites are:
1) The old lady who's name I've temporarily forgotten (Mrs Fisher?) who used to wander around St Andrews giving Christian leaflets to all the students. She was, of course, a local legend and subject of much derision and humour. Mind you, the rumour was that she was only trying to 'save' the students because her own son had been one and had died after drinking too much and jumping off the pier, so it's not that funny really is it? Is it? I mean, IS IT?
2) Sky-Blue flat cap, care in the community man who runs around Blackpool backwards. Ran up to my mate in Woolworths once, flailed his arms around at the shelves, shouted 'they've gone, they were all here yesterday' and then ran away. Backwards, of course.
3) The scary, Benny-From-Crossroads-alike (beanie hat and all) who came up to my sister and I while we were waiting for a bus in Acton by the little square next to the Safeways (a proper nutter haunt). He had a very long, pointy-looking stick that he was thrashing against his leg and was staring into the middle distance with lovely lumps of spittle gathering at the sides of his mouth. Strangely, all he said was 'Will they arrest me in East Finchley? What will happen to me if I go to East Finchley?' in a squeaky voice and then he left us alone.
I would apologise for length but, seeing as I'm laughing at people with obvious mental health problems, I'm clearly a bit of a cranberry. Phew, shades of that annoying bloke from the first series of Survivor there - used to paint himself in mud all the time. Anyone? Anyone?
(Fri 17th Sep 2004, 23:46, More)