b3ta.com user Magnus
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» Dumb things you've done

Pissing in the wind
I was going to post this as a reply to the bloke who fell in his piss while he was camping but hey

I was down in Cornwall climbing with a mate. We'd spent most of the afternoon climbing and I'd been busting for a waz for hours. It's not really feasable to get the chap out while hanging in a climbing harness so I waited..and waited.

When we eventually reached the top, the wind had blown up to a really decent gale and I trotted off for a piss. I couldn't really find any shelter but as we've all been told before; 'don't piss into the wind'. I turn my back to the wind, brace myself against the force of the gale so as not to lose my footing and open the valve.

What I would have known if I'd done Aeronautical Engineering at drinking club/university instead of Elecrical is that the wind passing between your legs at that speed causes some kind of swirly vortex thing. Net result - a hot stream of fresh piss heads off downwind before arcing beautifully upwards and straight into my own face. "Aargh, bollocks!" I scream which only results in the piss going into my mouth. Then I start dancing around trying to find a direction I can stand in which doesn't cover me in piss. After about twenty seconds of experimenting I am doused head to foot (all up my front and back as well!) and standing at a 45 degree angle to the wind on one leg, aiming the jet at the floor.

Yes, my mate saw the whole merry dance. Apparently it was quite funny.

Length? It was cold, ok?
(Fri 21st Dec 2007, 12:17, More)