b3ta.com user MSPaintGuru
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Hello!
I'm me!

I'm not working right now. I should be, but I lost my job. I put it down somewhere and now I can't find it. If anyone spots it, would they please return it to me as I'm all sentimental about it.

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» Lies Your Parents Told You

Oh and one of my mates....
was told by his parents that Wimbledon turned into France on Tuesday Nights at 8:30pm.

This all stemmed from the time they set out in the car from Richmond to go on holiday to France. Apparently my mate would nod off in the back of the car, nearing Wimbledon and not wake up until they had arrived. Needless to say it took a while to shake that one off, but the scars must have transferred, I guess...

.... or is it that I just don't want to go near Wimbledon after closing time?
(Sat 17th Jan 2004, 17:30, More)

» Lies Your Parents Told You

Evil Parent Trickery
Compared to some of the other things out there this might seem a bit tame, but then such are the ways of the wily parent that one can seriously be scarred for some time. I got over this one, thank gawd!!!

Picture the scene: suppertime, young kid with food on the plate, being given a roast onion and not really liking it. Decides to leave it because you don't eat the things you don't like, right? Well, My Mum decided that there were some things that you simply couldn't ignore because they were too tasty. So, in a momentary flash of genius, thinking that as I like the one thing, I will get to like the other, says to me "You know, Ice Cream is made from onion juice..."

It was two years and more before I ever touched ice cream again... and far longer than that before I considered that onions were tasty.

Another one that made me no friends whatsoever, Mum again, this time I guess on a "health drive" to stop me eating stuff she didn't consider healthy said "Angel Delight is made from Cardboard" (Angel Delight is an instant Milk Pudding - in case you're foreign and don't know of it). Stopped me eating it all right, exactly the desired effect.

Only.... Five year old precocious little brat that I was, I was invited to some kiddies party or other and when offered it replied with "No, I don't eat that, it's made from cardboard!" Oh, the restraint of the hostess......!!!!
(Sat 17th Jan 2004, 17:13, More)