b3ta.com user brocky
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» Well, that taught 'em

Meeting Scheduled.....
Last place I worked at, one of the blokes there was arrested and later sentenced for having child porn on his home computer. The fact that in between his arrest and the court appearance he was in work every day sitting about 3 desks away from me turned my stomach (especially as I had photos of my kids on my desk at the time).

Not many people in the office knew about it, his boss obviously knew but didn't want to tell anyone as it may jeopardise business with clients. I knew about it as I was the one working in IT at the time who CID interviewed to ask me to check the servers and his folders for any indecent images or passwords to get on to websites.

I was threatened by this guy's boss that if I breathed a word of it to anyone, I would be sacked.

Court case arrives and the peado is sent down for 6 months, he thought that he would get a suspended sentence and be back in work the next day.

Does the truth then come out? No. Said boss issues an email saying that the guy was off due to personal circumstances and may return to work in the future. Threat of sack to me still stands if I say anything.

I realise that saying anything, doesn't extend to having a newspaper open on my desk with the full story (the guy was also a scout leader so it made front page) open to everyone.

Over the next few days everyone found out about it (not all because of me) then I got a phone call from HR saying that someone had reported me for sticking the news report up against the window of my office and leaving copies in the meeting room.

That was all bullshit and lies. HR were actually understanding and believed my side of the story. I knew where it had come from so decided to bide my time.

Working in IT meant I knew most peoples passwords. Knowing that this manager wasn't the cleverest and would never click on,I set his password to never expire.

6 months after leaving there, I can still access his emails through webmail. I've deleted a load, moved a load to different folders and put spelling mistakes in all his contacts email and phone details. Mildly annoying but not great.

My greatest feat yet - setting up a meeting in his calendar to "See how I look wearing ladies clothes and underwear", scheduled for the meeting room, invited to everyone in the orgainsation in the UK (approx 500 people).

Apparantly the shit hit the fan, I remain undiscovered and he has no idea. His password is still the same so let me know for any other ideas I can use to make his life a misery.

That'll learn him.

Cheers
(Fri 27th Apr 2007, 12:47, More)

» Stalked

The Pied Piper
Tonight, picking up my little girl from her school disco, the DJ decided to finish it with the conga just as all the parents arrive to collect their kids.

So a big snake-line forms across the dance floor as all the little darlings follow the kiddie in front of them with the DJ leading them all. The DJ in his infinite wisdom decides to venture off the dance floor and weave his way all around the chairs, loads of ankle biters still hot in pursuit.

Until....

1 little lad, 1/2 way down the line sees his Mum standing there with his coat, all ready to leave. He does what any 4 year old does and runs over to his Mum, puts his coat on and follows her out of the door.

What she didn't realise is that all the kids behind think that this is all still part of the conga line and keep on following. Cue absolute chaos as parents see their beloved children legging it outside following the fabled Pied Piper of Stockport.

I know it's not strictly on topic, but I haven't got anything else this week.
(Fri 1st Feb 2008, 20:47, More)

» Bastard Colleagues

I can be a bastard
A couple of months ago, I was put at risk of redundancy at work. Nothing to do with my performance I found out later, just the Directors wanting to play silly buggers and give everyone a kick up the arse. Just before Xmas with a young family, it went down as well as a shit sandwich at a buffet.

I wondered for a while how I could get my own back and then the opportunity presented itself.

We were running low on bog roll in the Gents. What little we did have left, I hid in a drawer, telling my mates there to use it if they needed to. I left 2 tiny sheets in the dispenser, so at first glance, you would be none the wiser until the deed was done.

I couldn't have written what happened next. The director in question comes into my room bemoaning the fact that there is no bog roll left. He didn't realise until after the event when he found 2 tiny single-ply tissues (which apparantly ripped when he tried to wipe.

He gave us the story of what had happened. After finding no bog roll in sight (and certainly hadnt finished his wiping), he was forced to fasten his keks and do the awkward walk to find something suitable. All he could find was A4 printer paper so had to make do with that which made his ring-piece sore and then bleed due to a paper cut.

I had a smile on my face all day and am still giggling about it now.

Cheers
(Tue 29th Jan 2008, 22:14, More)

» Bastard Colleagues

Meeting scheduled
A re-post from an old QOTW but seems to fit the bill for this one as well

Last place I worked at, one of the blokes there was arrested and later sentenced for having child porn on his home computer. The fact that in between his arrest and the court appearance he was in work every day sitting about 3 desks away from me turned my stomach (especially as I had photos of my kids on my desk at the time).

Not many people in the office knew about it, his boss obviously knew but didn't want to tell anyone as it may jeopardise business with clients. I knew about it as I was the one working in IT at the time who CID interviewed to ask me to check the servers and his folders for any indecent images or passwords to get on to websites.

I was threatened by this guy's boss that if I breathed a word of it to anyone, I would be sacked.

Court case arrives and the peado is sent down for 6 months, he thought that he would get a suspended sentence and be back in work the next day.

Does the truth then come out? No. Said boss issues an email saying that the guy was off due to personal circumstances and may return to work in the future. Threat of sack to me still stands if I say anything.

I realise that saying anything, doesn't extend to having a newspaper open on my desk with the full story (the guy was also a scout leader so it made front page) open to everyone.

Over the next few days everyone found out about it (not all because of me) then I got a phone call from HR saying that someone had reported me for sticking the news report up against the window of my office and leaving copies in the meeting room.

That was all bullshit and lies. HR were actually understanding and believed my side of the story. I knew where it had come from so decided to bide my time.

Working in IT meant I knew most peoples passwords. Knowing that this manager wasn't the cleverest and would never click on,I set his password to never expire.

6 months after leaving there, I can still access his emails through webmail. I've deleted a load, moved a load to different folders and put spelling mistakes in all his contacts email and phone details. Mildly annoying but not great.

My greatest feat yet - setting up a meeting in his calendar to "See how I look wearing ladies clothes and underwear", scheduled for the meeting room, invited to everyone in the orgainsation in the UK (approx 500 people).

Apparantly the shit hit the fan, I remain undiscovered and he has no idea. His password is still the same so let me know for any other ideas I can use to make his life a misery.

Cheers
(Sat 26th Jan 2008, 17:48, More)

» Desperate Times

Drunken fry-up
Mate of mine gets home from the pub and has the munchies. Opening the fridge door to see what he can find, he sees a couple of eggs (already cracked open) sitting in a little bowl.

Perfect, sticks the frying pan on the gas ring, heats up the oil and pops them in thinking how good they will be on a butty with some red sauce.

10 minutes later, they still aren't cooking so he turns the heat up. another ten minutes and still nothing.

He loses interest and toddles off to bed with an empty tummy.

His wife wakes hime up in the morning to ask him if he knew why there were 2 apricots in their juices sitting in the frying pan next to extra thick white bread smeared all over with tommy ketchup.

Explains why they didnt cook properly.
(Sun 18th Nov 2007, 20:24, More)
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