» Faking it

Once
at a party, my boyfriend and I retreated to the bathroom for some fun.

He'd been giving me oral for ages but due to the amount of alcohol we had both consumed I just could not orgasm.

So I faked it. And it was spectacular. I banged my hands off the floor and was very vocal in my appreciation.

Apparantly my voice had echoed round the house so everyone had gathered outside the bathroom door to give my boyfriend a round of applause.
(Mon 14th Jul 2008, 16:04, More)

» Mobile phone disasters

Criiiinge
Typical. Accidentally sent very dirty text to most conservative friend instead of boyfriend, as their names were next to each other on my contacts list. So I got a new phone that had a "cancel sending" button.

The worst part was the reply. "I understand that you feel this way, Penguin, but I'm sorry it's not reciprocated. I understood most, but what does bj stand for?"
(Thu 30th Jul 2009, 12:41, More)

» Cringe!

Hairdressers
The number of times I've asked for "a cut and blow-job".
(Thu 27th Nov 2008, 21:07, More)

» Cougars and Sugar Daddies

Back in school days
She was 17 and he was 11.

Ewwwwwwwwww
(Sat 6th Dec 2008, 8:14, More)

» Common

Argh
People who say "ff" instead of "th".

I know some people have a speech problem and I'm ok with this. It's the people who think it's the cool way to say it or just can't be arsed pronouncing things properly.

"When are we meeting?"
"Free o'clock."

SHUT UP.
(Sat 18th Oct 2008, 1:42, More)