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» Darwin Awards

"Brush With Death"? I'll comb my hair with it and then some...
I had of late lost all my mirth.

I went to the local train station to drink Gin, take 6 weeks of anti-depressants, listen to monged music for a bit and then intended to off myself under a train.

As I sat on the bench I was thoughtful for a bit and then became impatient. Nothing seemed to be coming. I looked down the platform. A couple addressed each other and then walked back through the ticket office, leaving me alone, sitting there. Bit weird, I thought.

After 2 hours I heard the rushing sound of a train. I jumped off the platform and dashed out. But by the time I got to the middle of the tracks the express train was whooshing by in front of me.

I walked down the track, no trains, and then finally clambered over a fence. I got served in a bar.

Next thing I remember I woke up in a police station. Drunken and Disorderly. They let me go and I called an ambulance declaring overdose. As I sat down in the mental hospital to be seen by the duty psycho my eyes met the newspaper on the table.

"Rail Strike To End"
(Fri 13th Feb 2009, 20:16, More)