b3ta.com user hiraeth
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» War

My dad fought in World War 2.
He would often regale us with all his old stories, a bit like Uncle Albert in Only Fools and Horses, and as I was growing up I did find them rather tedious. (I do now realise that I should have been proud of what he did, of course.)
One thing always made me laugh though. In his later years, whenever there would be a documentary on telly and Adolf Hitler would appear, my dad would always, without fail, lift up his hand, give an extravagant V-sign and blow a raspberry.
I miss him.
(Fri 1st Jun 2012, 14:56, More)

» Trouble

Dear Jim,
Please could you fix it for me to meet Rolf Harris.
(Thu 10th Sep 2015, 22:28, More)

» More Terrible Hotels

Once shared a hotel room with a friend from Liverpool,
when I woke up my pillow was gone.
(Thu 27th Nov 2014, 21:45, More)

» The Great Outdoors

An apology.
I quite enjoy camping and go camping quite a lot. I understand the unwritten rules of the campsite and adhere to them to the best of my abilities. This includes respect for your fellow campers.
Anyway, I am now of that age when I, often as not, have to get up in the night to answer a call of nature. However , I am also young enough to still wake up with the occasional raging hard-on. This night, both circumstances apply and my main aim is to get to the bog as quickly and as quietly as possible. However, my tent is small and in the clumsy struggle to put on my trousers and exit the tent there is what can only be described as a cock-zip coming together. Which the zip won.
Therefore, if you were staying at the Fairgrounds campsite in Eskdale, Cumbria on the night of September 30th last year and were woken in the night by shrill Anglo-Saxon cursing, I am truly sorry.
(Sun 1st Apr 2012, 18:55, More)

» What nonsense did you believe in as a kid?

Killer bees.
Anyone old enough to remember the killer bees from South America stories? Proper shit me up, they did.
(Thu 19th Jan 2012, 21:09, More)
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