» School Days

A huge thanks to my headmistress
Back in the 1970's

My village primary school was run by a great old fashioned headmistress. She was not old fashioned in that she believed in corporal punishment, but old fashioned in that she believed in education.

None of us brats appreciated the care that she took in teaching us. We just saw her as the enemy.


In my case I saw her as a problem because she wouldn't allow me to do what I wanted. I never considered her as a human being. I saw her as a problem. So in my amoral way, I thought a problem should be removed and that removal of this problem would involve killing her. Logical really.


I decided to fix the brakes and tyres on her car to induce fatal car crash. Due to being 10 years old, having a complete lack of knowledge of car mechanics and also being spotted by a cleaning lady, the murderous attempt completely failed.

The cleaning lady informed the headmistress.

Now this is where the headmistress showed her true colours. She did not go to the police or the authorities about my psychopathic tendancies, instead she privately talked to my parents and brought in a child psychotherapist to talk to me.

As a result the reason behind my behavioural problems were spotted (We call it aspergers now), and she took it upon herself to help me through it as best as possible. She did a damned fine job of it as well.

So instead of being taken from my parents, locked up in a home and having my life totally destroyed before the age of 12, I was given a chance to make good and have sinced gained a PhD and a pretty good life.

It was years before I appreciated just what she did for me.

Here's to my headmistress, Mrs Sage. May God rest her soul
(Sat 31st Jan 2009, 16:38, More)

» Stalked

She only wanted me for the techs
Years ago, I was working on my PhD as a case award student for the pharm giant Glaxo. I also started going out with a swedish blond. Just say that she was stringing me along, but I was to smitten to realise this. That was until she started shagging the builder who was working on the building were I lived. When she realised that I'd found out, she broke up with me. However later she needed to jump start her science career, and decided to start hassling me with promises of getting back together, sending me emails, phone calls and hanging around outside my apartment. I screamed at her to f*ck off out of my life. And left it at that. That was until she sent me an email asking me for the data I obtained from research at the aforementioned pharma corp. I then made a formal complaint to her university with copies of her emails. Stalking, attempts of industrial espionage and research plagiarism were not viewed lightly by her uni, and they said they'll deal with it. It was only several years later I discovered that the resulting investigation also found out her boyfriend was an illegal immigrant. He was deported, she was thrown out of uni, and they had to move to some south american hell hole with career in tatters. Needless to say she hasn't tried to contact me again. Result!
(Thu 31st Jan 2008, 17:04, More)

» Ripped Off

Ripping Off Alcoholic Underage Girls
is a fun sport and easy too. Once I was approached by a group of 14 year girls who wanted me to buy them a bottle of wine from the local offie. They handed over ten quid, and I said I would keep the change. I go into the offie, and tell the manager about the girls. Then I bought a bottle of ice-berg (alcohol free "white wine" shite) and ask him to wrap it up a brown paper bag.

I hand over the package to the girls and continue on my way.

alcohol free wine £2.00
me buying shite £8.00
14 year girly screaming and swearing priceless
(Fri 16th Feb 2007, 11:58, More)

» This book changed my life

Of Mice and Men
was the first book to ever make me cry. It wasn't Lenny dying that did it for me, it was the thought of what George must have gone through having to kill his only friend.

That's quite an achievement for a book, considering I'm an aspie and somewhat challenged in the empathy department.
(Thu 15th May 2008, 16:21, More)

» World of Random

Fridge of beer
When I was living in London just off the Talgarth road, there were these tramps who lived on a grassy bit by the side of the road. They had a fridge there filled with beer cans. The fridge was obviously not plugged into anything, but that was ok as the beer cans were empty anyway....
(Sat 23rd Apr 2011, 17:20, More)