b3ta.com user .o0o.o0o.o0o.
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Profile for .o0o.o0o.o0o.:
Profile Info:

My name's not actually .o0o.o0o.o0o. it's Tim and I'm an old student in dat London. No real skill with arty stuff whatsover so anything I post took ages...

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Pet Stories

My friend's dog...
...was a somewhat aggressive Basset hound who used to help himself to all sorts of things, including bags of crisps gained on occasional raiding runs to the local pub.

On one occasion he managed to procure a Mars bar and, in the struggle to get it away from him, swallowed the entire thing, wrapper and all.

About a day later we were astonished to find the offending, fully wrapped Mars in the garden, having passed intact through Henry. We had to persuade my friend's dad not to give it a wash and save it for an unwelcome guest at a later date.
(Mon 11th Jun 2007, 20:50, More)

» Pet Stories

Another dog story
The popular image of Dalmatians, thanks to Walt Disney, is of cute, gentle and lovable animals. I now know this to be a lie having met a pair that belong to some family friends - they're generally quite narky, and though neither has bitten me I can only assume it's a matter of time, given all the growling that goes on.

Anyway I've heard a couple of gruesome, yet quite amusing stories about Dotty and Dick...

Viv, the owner, sometimes takes the dogs to the local common for walks, which (this being Wimbledon) contain an unfeasible number of young mums and their associated sprogs. One of the ravenous animals escaped and immediately went to find something to kill, which luckily was a rabbit rather than a child.

Nonetheless the rabbit that Dotty had caught was making a squealing noise, and children in the vicinity started to cry at the sight of the mauling. This was clearly unacceptable, so Viv went (risking her own limbs) to grab the mewling creature from the baying animal's jaws - but at the prospect of having its plaything taken away, Dotty put her head back and simply swallowed the rabbit whole. I suspect the children were scarred for life.

The second evidence to lack of cuteness in these animals was that the other one, Dick, killed a stag in their garden by ripping its throat out. A fucking STAG! jesus
(Mon 11th Jun 2007, 21:04, More)

» Best Graffiti Ever

Cubicle graffiti at Uni in Brum
"As I sit I contemplate:
should I shit or masturbate?"

Love it
(Sat 5th May 2007, 19:28, More)

» Work Experience

I got a job in a factory when I was 16
The factory produced video tapes in a "clean" area, and they came out into what must therefore have been the "dirty" area where all us scrotes were stationed.

My job was to pack tapes that had just been shrink-wrapped into their boxes and stick them in a crate. This would have been merely tedious except that the shrink-wrap was still fucking hot, and still tacky, so if you didn't do it at light speed your fingers got burned.

But the crowning glory, the part of the job that was really aimed at making the inmates (sorry, employees) suicidal, was that the film you were packing was played to you on continuous loop *all day*. My first day was 12 hours of Michael Flatley's Lord of the Dance (aaaaargh). Day 2 was the East 17 video - I quit halfway through the day...

Apols for girth
(Thu 10th May 2007, 15:15, More)