» Voyeurism

A truly sad time....
Whilst at uni, I lived with the Ex-Mrs McS and a lovely girl called Jen. This is not about her...

When Jen moved out (she reckoned she had been mugged or some such), we looked for a new flattie to help pay the costs.

At the time the coolest bloke in Uni was super uni rugby star, Jim. Fit, atheletic and with a trophy, hot-to-trot girlfriend, he was my obvious choice for taking on the spare room and he soon moved in.

Whilst Jim moved in, I noted he had an Xbox and I made a plan to play it given the chance.

My day for Xbox came. I snook into his room, noting the vast array of Psychology books he had and the pics of his perfectly proportioned girlfriend in a bikini adorning his walls. I fired up the Xbox and sat on the edge of the bed to play.

Within 10 mins I heard the front door click. I panicked...what should I do? I'm not supposed to be in there, I've been through stuff to get the game I wanted!

I heard Jim shout, seeing if there was anyone home...I quietly turned off the 'box and secreted myself in his wardrobe in a fit of sheer stupidity and worry about getting caught.

I had the door fully closed, but heard him and his girl enter the room chatting. I started to wish I had left the door open as I heard Jim mention "that special thing" to his girlfriend.

As I listened intently to the kissing and the twanging of elastic as they got undressed I wondered what the "special thing" was. A few minutes later I found out...

I heard Jim telling said GF to "Push it in for me...nice and slow like before". I realised I had to see this wonderous Valkerie of a woman taking it (hopefully in the Wrong 'Un) so with ninja-esque grace cracked the door...to see Jim's girlfriend very gently slipping a ten-inch black strap-on into Jim's anus.

I gently closed the door again, closed my eyes and thought of a happy place until they left the house again.

Apologies for nothing....you love it you bitch.
(Mon 15th Oct 2007, 7:51, More)

» What's the most horrific thing you've seen?

Nurses
Get to see a lot of stuff, as has already been mentioned.

Here is my top 5 horrifics.

1. As a student, nurses do a stint in theatres. I saw a guy who had a tumor in his anus (past the dentine line for those in the know) have said anus and most of his lower bowel sliced out by the surgeon. You could literally see light coming out of where his arsehole used to be.

2. Working a surgical ward. Mr L has come in for removal of necrotic toes (dead due to diabetes). I throw back his sheets, the toe count only adds up to 9. 10 mins after Mr R across from Mr L complains that he has found a date in his cornflakes...and because the first half didnt taste too good, he left it in the bowl. I had to vom at that.

3. Degloving injuries are pretty rank. I worked in A and E one night that a young lady decided to throw herself in front of a train. The resulting injury looks like you have taken off a pair of trousers down to your knees...but replace trousers with skin.

4. Working a stint on community nursing. We get a call from a fella living in a block of flats in N London that his next door neighbour has some wounds on his legs. Turned up and I could smell him in the lobby. The old chaps entire lower legs had broken down completely, covered in thick slough and pus. He had been dressing them himself with boiled rags for 2 months.

5. Finally (but not unfortunately the least), a young chap out on his night before the wedding stag doo. For shits and giggles had popped his todger into the top of a lager bottle, it then became stuck. Friends cheered him on as it was decided the only way to remove said bottle was to smash it against a wall. The surgeons took quite a long time trying to re-attach his bell end but failed. Least to say the wedding was called off.
(Sun 24th Jun 2007, 2:34, More)

» Guilty Pleasures, part 2

Kitten Tossing
It's not as nasty as it may sound! I just like throwing them up in the air a little...maybe 6-10 inches, just as one would with a baby! They dont seem to mind and remain healthy throughout. I like the way their little legs waggle.


I havent dropped one yet!
(Fri 14th Mar 2008, 12:52, More)