b3ta.com user moriarty
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» Strict Parents

Friggin In The Riggin
My first record was at the ripe old age of 7 - maybe 8 'Something Else' by the Sex Pistols - the b-side was a lovely little ditty titled 'Friggin In The Riggin'.

After I had purchased said record and taken it home to play, my mum aked me to play the b-side - Probably she was more aware of the Sex Pistols due to media frenzy of the time than I was - so I play said b-side - much to the disgust of mother - who immediately banned me from playing it again.

Well - this had me thinking, i'm going to investigate further - so off to the record shop, and lo and behold a double album 'The Great Rock 'n' Roll Swindle' with the b-side on - and a naked girl on the inside of the gatefold sleeve - jackpot, couldn't afford it, but back in those days you could play records on the turntables in the shops, so not only could i play 'Friggin In The Riggin' I could gawp at a naked girl........ fantastic being banned - introduced me to punk and porn.

Length - it was a double album.....
(Fri 9th Mar 2007, 17:18, More)

» Personal Hygiene

Work colleague........
We have someone who works in our office who has a drink problem that seems to have a cumulative effect on him.

During the week he'll go and have a few pints - he can drink, ex-rugby player who is about 22 stones, he never seems drunk during the first couple of the days of the week, but as the week progresses, normally by friday when he comes to work, he's a pissed as the proverbial newt.

One of the worse aspects of his cumulative pissedness is that he loses bladder control, and has often had accidents leaving a nasty horrible wet patch, noticable to all.

His chair - now there's the skanky bit, it's an old grey padded chair - with, you guessed it, a yellow tidemark where it soaks up the residual piss.

Every monday, the tidemark get's higher due to the previous fridays' accidents, and one of the funniest laughs - it's an office, we're big kids when we get there - is when some unsuspecting soul forgets about it, and sits down on it.............

Sorry for length, but it would take a good 30 minutes of anyone else's time at the urinal for all that's been soaked into the chair.
(Fri 23rd Mar 2007, 16:12, More)

» My first experience of porn

Sex Pistols.........
Being the ripe age of 8 or 9, getting into music, the first record I ever bought was 'Something Else' by the Sex Pistols - I thought it was a great record, so off i went to the shop and bought it with my saved up pocket money, came home and played it on the gramaphone - My mum however, knowing more than me about the whole punk thing due to mass hysteria media coverage, thought it might prudent to play the b-side, as it was a little ditty titled 'Friggin' In The Riggin'. Cue motherly mass hysteria 'If I ever hear you play that again...... etc etc - can't remember the threats - but it got me thinking 'what do all those words mean' - if you've heard the record, you'll know it's about as filthy a song as you can get. So off i trot to the record shop to check out other Sex Pistols releases - and lo and behold there was a double album 'The Great Rock 'n' Roll Swindle, which inside the gatefold sleeve was a picture of a naked girl, then it hits me - when i grow up i wanna be a punk! - Thanks mum for introducing me to porn and punk, I doubt i would have ever played the b-side without her asking - Oh yes, she also found a nudie mag I returned home from cub scouts with a few weeks later, but no threats this time - go figure...................

I'm new, my first post - apologies for length, but it was a double album
(Thu 1st Feb 2007, 14:18, More)