b3ta.com user inflateable
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Profile for inflateable:
Profile Info:

Like playing with photoshop.
Sometimes it looks like I'm good at it

Recent front page messages:

He's good on the climbs...
.but the ears are a drawback in the time trials

Click here for biggerlaritude
(Tue 15th Apr 2003, 19:57, More)

I think this
everytime I see him

(Mon 24th Feb 2003, 18:16, More)

Starsky and Hutch go on holiday.

(Fri 24th Jan 2003, 21:42, More)

The pope
gets fed up, and makes a break for it.

(Thu 22nd Aug 2002, 11:01, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Stupid Dares

Huge inflateable hammer.
Sitting in the back seat of a mate's car as we trundle around Torquay, I find a something wrapped up in the back.

Hmm, on closer inspection, it turns out to be an inflatable hammer. 'ah yeah' says my mate the driver, 'I won that at the fair ages ago'.

Bored, I blow it up.

It's a huge inflatable hammer.

I start tapping it on the heads of the driver and passenger until they get annoyed.

Then we see a mate, walking along the pavement...'Dare you to whack him on the head as we go past...'


I slightly overestimated the effect of the impact of an inflatable hammer, wielded with force, from the window of a mini clubman doing 40mph. I caught him on the back of the head, expecting it just to bounce off with no harm, other than surprise.

He went absolutly flying headfirst on to the ground.

We slow down to laugh. And then realise it wasn't our friend after all....

Hope he was ok...if you've were hit on the back of the head by an idiot with a inflatable hammer in Torquay - sorry.
(Sat 3rd Nov 2007, 18:15, More)

» Mums

,,I went to Cuba a few years ago, to Guantanamo. Not the US base, but the area around it.

My mum's words of wisdom?

'Be careful if you go near that american base. You do go a bit middle-eastern looking in the sun and you know how stupid americans are.'

(Thu 11th Feb 2010, 22:01, More)

» Bastard Colleagues


Real oddball. About 27 but dresses like a 45 year old did in 1950. Never uses one word when he can ramble (although rather eloquently) for twenty minutes. Took his mum to the xmas do. Very serious, tries to be uber-professional.

Caught him today pretending to balance along the join in the carpet with a happy grin on his face when he thought he was on his own.

Suddenly noticed me smiling and went bright red.

I like him.
(Thu 24th Jan 2008, 20:39, More)

» Gambling

Suicide Lottery
Best game ever, and it's free.

Wait for the national lottery program to come on, and then you and each of your compatriots get a piece of paper each, and write down 6 numbers.

Here's the important bit - at no point must you have bought a ticket.

So to put it simply: you've got your lottery numbers, but no ticket.

Then watch the results. Hoping and praying your numbers don't come up.

It's brilliant. Got the first three numbers once, and I thought my heart was going to explode.
(Sun 10th May 2009, 21:07, More)

» Voyeurism

Way back in the mists of time I was camping with some mates near Newquay in cornwall. We were staying in what's basically a farmers field, as Newquay is (as anyone who lives in Devon or Cornwall knows) is a chav-hole of pissed northerners, incredibly hardcore looking 'surfers' who mysteriously disappear as soon as it gets overhead, and ludicrously overpriced places to stay.

And breath.

Anyway, this campsite was super basic and a great place to stay. One morning, sun coming up, I climbed out of my tent and glanced over at the camper van parked next to us. A family, kids up already and playing around the van, laughing and giggling. The parents were in the van, still wrapped in a duvet, with the doors open.

It took me a good 20seconds to realise that they were shagging.

But here's the thing - instead of looking erotic, or tantalising, or sexy or rude, it just looked really natural and, well, fantastic. The sun was coming up, the colours of the day just brightening up, kids playing, dew on the grass and a crisp sunny day just beginning - it just looked so cool and natural and weirdly unremarkable that this couple were making love on a morning like this.

I just thought those kids were so lucky to have parents that were still in to each other like that, and it made my day.

If you think about it, for thousands of years families lived in one room dwellings - seeing your parents or relatives shagging must have been normal then..it's only cos we're all so weirdly secretive about it that makes it so voyeuristic inthe first place.
(Sun 14th Oct 2007, 21:52, More)
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