» Why should you be fired from your job?

I was a complete slacker
When I applied for my job, I was told that it required someone with a 'high boredom threshold'. It was my dream job, supervising a usually empty room, unlimited internet access, unlimited free food and coffee, and a twizzly chair.

Once I was 7 hours late for work and nobody even noticed.
A while later I got made redundant, but at least I got 6 good years of being paid to do nothing.

Aah, salad days!
(Fri 10th Aug 2007, 20:50, More)

» Strict Parents

More Chewing Gum
I just remembered another chewing gum incident.
One day my little brother came bursting in to my bedroom, "I've found a way to get chewing gum!" Me and my other bro immediately wanted to know, so he dragged us outside.
"look, it's everywhere!', he said, pointing at the ground.
"It's hard to peel off, and a bit gritty at first, but after you've chewed it for a bit it's just the same!"
We declined and went back inside.
(Fri 9th Mar 2007, 13:59, More)

» Strict Parents

Chewing Gum
I was never allowed chewing gum or bubblegum when I was a kid, as a result of this me and my brothers were completely obsessed with it.
One day I went round to my friend, Mary-Ann's house, and was given a stick of wrigleys.

I was in heaven!
I chewed an chewed for the rest of the afternoon, then when my Mum came to pick me up, I carefully wrapped it back up in the silver paper and hid it for later.
At bedtime I could hardly wait to unwrap it and have another go. I chewed and chewed until eventually I fell asleep, the gum fell out of my mouth and got tangled in my hair. The next day I awoke to find my hair completely matted on one side. I had to confess all to my Mum, who then (badly) scissored off one side of my hair, leaving the other half as it was.
I looked awful.

Incidentally, I wasn't allowed to watch ITV either, in case I saw adverts.
(Fri 9th Mar 2007, 13:54, More)