b3ta.com user abefroman
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» Workplace Boredom

Motorway madness
I spend a lot of time working on the motorways of the West Midlands. I'm one of those guys you see in a by the side of the road stylishly bedecked in hi viz yellow trousers and coat with hard hat and ear defender accessories.

Anyway, you might have noticed the occasional set of brick & concrete steps that lead from the hard shoulder up the sides of cuttings. I like to brighten up the day of fellow workers and passing motorists by descending those steps in showbiz fashion, kicking out to the side with each step and waving my hard hat aloft, shaking it cabaret style.

The minutes fly by.
(Tue 13th Jan 2009, 21:04, More)

» Conned

I was conned by an old man in a cloak
Yeah it turned out those were the droids I was looking for.
(Thu 18th Oct 2007, 22:33, More)

» The worst sex I ever had

Urban myth?
Not sure if this is true as it's a mate of a mate story, plus it may not have been the lady's worst sex ever but I'd wager it's competitive.

A mate told me about a mate of his shagging some lady he'd picked up on a night out. Apparently both were partly clothed and he was shagging her from behind in the time honoured doggy style when the following incident occurred.

In the throes of passion, the lady says to him, "I want to see your face". So, does he do the gentlemanly thing and relocate her into a suitable position her so that her wish may be granted? No, no he doesn't.

Instead he carries on humping away and without missing a thrust, reaches down into the back pocket of his jeans and produces for her....

...his bus pass.

(Sun 17th Jun 2007, 12:39, More)

» Why I was late

The Beano becomes reality
I'm jealous of this one because along with someone actually slipping on a discarded banana skin, it's something I've always wanted to see.

My colleague told me about a guy who was a bit late from his lunch break because he was so thrilled and couldn't stop laughing at what he'd seen.

Apparently he came running into the office, quite flustered and exclaimed, "Sorry I'm late but you'll never guess what I've just seen......a dog running from a butchers shop with a string of sausages in it's mouth!"

(Wed 4th Jul 2007, 9:20, More)

» And that's the thanks I got

Betrayal of biblical proportions
After a lifetime of teaching the gospels, performing miracles, fulfilling biblical prophecies, taking twelve lads under my wing on a religious YTS and generally doing Gods work, what thanks did I get?

One of the lads, in exchange for thirty measly pieces of silver, grasses me up to the Roman feds and gets me arrested and crucified.

What a git!

(Thu 24th May 2007, 10:52, More)
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