b3ta.com user lordy lordy
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» Phobias

My dad had a phobia
of us kids, we used to take his false teeth out of the glass and stand them, balanced on the molars, he said it set his teeth on edge
(Sun 13th Apr 2008, 18:25, More)

» Abusing freebies

If Bob Todd
can post someone elses story, then so shall I
An enormously long read, but well worth the time.
Basic premise is... fake cheque for nearly $1m cashed as a joke, turns out fake cheque was real, lots of hassle, lots of fun.
(Sun 11th Nov 2007, 17:03, More)

» Exposed!

I once sent..
a picture of me, naked, with a cricket bat handle up my bum, to everyone in my addrss book...
Cost a small fortune in stamps
Shirley Bindun?
(Wed 14th Aug 2013, 20:33, More)

» Body Horror

I suffer from Uveitis, as well as ingrowing eyelashes, one needs the hospital, the other a steady hand, and if its not the lash, then its the hospital.
The last time I was suffering from a sore red eye, a quick hunt with good tweezers removed nothing, So off to the hospital where uveitis was not the culprit, but a little lash that grew out, curve right along the lid, and back onto the eyeball. This was quickly removed and a further week of agony ensued, back to the hospital, where an eyelash, INSIDE the lower lid was found,growing straight onto the eye!
My consultant said it was the second one she'd ever seen in her career
(Tue 16th Jul 2013, 18:27, More)

» Utterly Drunk

Drunk, I say!
My Ex Sister in Law worked in the City, earning megabucks like they used to in the 80's and 90's, and would oft go on a spree when their boat came in. This she would do on a regular basis, but my brother and I had to work particularly late this evening and decided we would meet her at Kings Cross. She turned up looking like a £5 hooker with a £1000 accent, and whatever passed for Jimmy Choo shoes and a Lagerfield dress.
Calling her over to the platform, she shouted back "I''l be there in a second, I'm gonna be ill" She staggered over to the nearest waste bin, the sort jubilee clipped to posts, and threw up an evenings worth of Bollinger, Lobster and whatever else she had swallowed. Only for us to watch it come clean out the bottom of a cylindrical bin, with no liner!
Shoes were thrown away there and then, the dress was disposed of when we got home
(Mon 18th Feb 2013, 18:51, More)
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