b3ta.com user Dread Pirate Roberts
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» Spoooky Coincidence

Post office coincidence
When I was a student we had to go and visit the big post office in London to see how it worked. On the way my friend posted a letter to her mate.

During the incredibly exciting tour around the post office we were shown the sorting area where there were about 6 or 7 giant mail sorters - look a bit like massive cement mixers, with thousands of letters in them.

At one point the lady giving the tour put her hand into one of sorters and pulled out a letter. Yeah, you guessed it - it was my friend's letter! Same hand writing, same address everything. It was only an hour after she posted it so must have been picked up pretty much straight after we left. It was pretty unbelieveable.

She also told us the sorting machines can only read 2nd class stamps, so if you put lots of little stamps on your letter up to the value of 2nd class it will automatically go first class.
(Tue 13th Feb 2007, 20:57, More)

» First rude thing I ever saw

shocked by pubes
as i young lad (9ish?) i went swimming with my bro and cousin. my cousin was only a couple of years older and to me was pretty much the same age. there were cubicles for changing and i thought it would be funny to pop my head under the cubicle door and say helloooo.
but when i did this i was confronted by the hideous sight of his rather hirsute gentlemen's area. the sight of this was so shocking to me that i didn't say anything and thankfully he didn't see me either. at the time i thought there was something seriously wrong with him.
(Fri 12th Aug 2011, 0:00, More)

» Conversation Killers

punk band
You know how some punk songs have the tendency to stop abruptly. Well, we were at a gig in Bristol watching a loud punk band with a rather butch female singer and, just as the song suddenly finished, my friend started to say in a loud voice "rather a lot OF LESBIANS AREN'T THERE?" Cue 20 very angry young women giving us evils.
(Sat 14th May 2011, 17:44, More)

» Celebrities part II

10ish years ago when I was still a student Paul Merton came to sign his new book at the uni book shop. He was doing ads for Imperial Leather at the time so I thought it would be amusing to put two bars of soap on his seat before he arrived.

When he arrived he was nice enough to sign them for me and I also bought a signed copy of his book for my Dad as he is a big HIGNFY fan. My dad appreciated the gift but thought the book was terrible. So a few years later I noticed Ian Hislop was down to do a book signing where I was living in London. I've met him twice and he's always been a really nice bloke. He agreed that Merton's last book had been a bit crap and signed a copy of the Private Eye annual for my Dad with "Hope you like it better than Merton's book, Merry Xmas, Ian". Top bloke!

Have also met Richard Herring twice off of fist of fun. First time I played poker with him in Bristol as some sort of promo thing for a poker magazine. It was quite a laugh as we kept getting moved on by officious security guards near the waterfront. He almost had a bit of a run in with one of them. I met him again walking down the street in Edinburgh during the festival, I said "Hey I played poker with you in Bristol!" thinking he would remember the amusing episode with the security guard but he just said "Oh that's nice" in a sarky voice and scowled at me. So now I think he is in fact a bit of an arse (although to hand it to him he did beat me at poker).
(Sun 11th Oct 2009, 20:38, More)

» Best Graffiti Ever

childish but good
There's a public footpath near my office with a sign that someone has altered to read "Pubic fartpath"

Incredibly childish but never fails to make me smile. Been like that for years.
(Thu 3rd May 2007, 18:17, More)
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