b3ta.com user hunterhunterhunter
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» Childhood Ambitions

When i was a child...
This hopefully wont turn out to be true as its slightly scary.

When i was younger than i am at the moment i resolved that my career was to live in a caravan travelling around Cornwall selling wooden toys. I shit you not i said this.

If this did actually happened to me i would be seriously disappointed in my life, it would make me a roaming child catcher who lures children in with his promise of carved donkeys.
(Thu 29th Mar 2007, 18:18, More)

» Desperate Times

As a child much younger than i am now...
...I was left in a car at the top of a multistory carpark with my brother who usually convinces me to do things against my better judgement. My mum had gone into the shopping centre which was adjacent to said multistory. However as i was a youngun my timing of poo's was not as good as it now (once in the morning, one after school, one at night since you ask).

Desperate for a poo my brother convinces me that the ideal place would be behind a selection of boxes in the car park. So off i waddle (doing the sort of dance only a man turtle heading can do) to poo behind the boxes.

However, without loo paper how on earth would i keep clean? A perfect solution came to me with a 1980 edition of the Surrey A-Z.

My mum was furious, not at me, at my brother.
(Wed 21st Nov 2007, 16:59, More)

» Ripped Off

An easy mistake to make
Being of a tender age i recently went to a club for the first time. Being of a tender age i didnt realise that the very nice man who sprays some soap on your hands and offers to dry them in the club toilets wasnt just in it for the karma. Yes he did me out of a one pound piece as i didnt want to get beaten up.

I showed him though, the other times i went to the toilets i used the sink next to him. So fuck you man in toilets of wild
(Tue 20th Feb 2007, 18:15, More)

» Best Graffiti Ever

poor grammar
Living in suburbia i dont see much graffiti on my daily trips to and from the bank to check the stocks.

However living in Clinton Road the road sign was graffitied.

It read 'Clinton Bill Road'

It wasn't the fact it was graffitied that annoyed me, it was the grammar. They should have at least put a ',' inbetween Clinton and Bill.
(Thu 3rd May 2007, 22:29, More)