» Cross Dressing

"I didn't do it... no, wait, I did... err, can I phone a friend?"
Can't say i've done much in the way of "proper" cross dressing, bar the odd piss-take with a bra in "the olden days". It's too risky - found out the kinda hard way. Anyway, the story...
... It was yet another lonely night in on the PC. Spent a while reading old QOTW's while I was in my lurking days, getting hammered on... err... orange juice (It's like an instant hangover, sans the fun part of being drunk, when you have it as un-watered down as I tend to - and hey, what can I say, i'm a lightweight). 'Tis all lonely in the XDeus household, what with everyone being asleep at this unsightly time of about 2am. Finally deciding that it's time to bugger off to bed, on account of no longer being able to see the screen, I set off up the stairs to the bedroom.
Now, this is one of those old terraced houses, and despite this lack of space, we tended not to bother with shoe racks, and leave any regularly used footwear on the stairs. Still giggling from some joke now forgotten, I saw my younger sisters shoes lying on the stairs. And, of course, something in the back of my mind decided that wearing them would be funny. However, what I didn't expect was to be able to fit my whole foot inside the shoe. And it was actually comfortable. Now, I'm a good size 10, so not only was this confusing in a Barely-Conscious way, but also in the way that finding out that your younger sister has feet almost as big as yours is. After being kinda freaked out, I slipped the shoes off again and finally went to bed.

The next morning, coming down to the rest of the family having breakfast (I was 15 at the time) and hear the sound of my mum having a bit of a shout at one of my sisters. Apparently, she'd gone and "deliberately" ripped a hole in the front of her brand new shoes, because she actually wanted a new pair (my sister was known for the numerous things that "just break" shortly after she said she wants a new one of whatever the said object was). In her defence, she said "don't worry, it won't be hard to get a new pair, I'm only a size 6. Now, with the morning brain still in gear, and memories of last night still vaguely there, I foolishly said "Size 6? Aren't you nearer a size 10?" FUCKSOCKS.

Thankfully for me, it wasn't all that bad. The caffeine kicked in as quickly as the silence, so I took the opportunity and quickly added "Well, you're shoes looked that big when you left them lying on top of my trainers a few days ago..." (she's also extremely lazy, forgetful and messy, so she never realized this was untrue, and everyone mostly believed what I said). So, anyway, she made a shocked remark at being indirectly called a "bigfoot", as I believe the term was back then, and the day carried on as usual.

However, as I was so convinced about their size, I just -HAD- to try it again with the new shoes - my mind just wouldn't let it rest. And, Lo and behold, they fit! And no rips or holes either!
So, where is this risk that I mentioned? Well, beyond that of your mouth working quicker than you're brain, I'm now convinced that women must use some special new size system for themselves that's beyond a mere man's comprehension. And, despite what I may desire to do, I now have a fear of going into a shoe store, asking for size 10 women's shoes, then finding that they're much too massive and having to ask for the smaller alternative, insinuating that my massive wooden weapon is actually a tiny toy soldier, thus spoiling the inevitable penis joke at the end of this post.

Apologies for length anyway - this far into the question I don't think anyone was expecting more than a witty retort to something else. Even if the story is crudalicious.

Click "I like this" if you also want rid of the women's shoe size code for the benefit of wannabe-tranny's and those of a curious nature all over Britain
(Tue 20th Mar 2007, 20:17, More)