b3ta.com user Pablissimo
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As you can guess
I have illicit fantasies
about Thora Hird =/

Clicky for bigness
(Wed 21st Aug 2002, 23:13, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Childhood bad taste

Music you say?
My first ever music purchase was a cassette single of Cotton Eye Joe. My second was Scatman World by the Scatman, solely because I couldn't find the Scatman song on single. And if anyone remembers the band Clock, guess who my third ever cassette was by. And in a school project about statistics where everyone was asked about their favourite musician, I was the only person ever in the history of the exercise to mention Gary Glitter.

Christ how did I survive primary school?
(Sat 11th Dec 2004, 3:45, More)

» Mini Cabs From Hell

An Iranian Chap'd be to blame for this one
It'd been a big night out, and in black-cab fares I was about £20 away from my home. Off our collective tits my friends and I got a night bus half-way to my house where we all dispersed. A minicab promptly arrived after a swift drunken phonecall driven by a pleasant Iranian chap whose English was questionable at best.

I slurred my way through asking for '[my road], Halewood please', a location about 15 minutes drive away at a black-cab cost of £8 or so. After a multitude of wrong-turns and a near-miss with a stationary car I arrived at what the driver assumed was my intended destination; Liverpool John Lennon Airport. Despite having a radically different number of syllables to my actual destination I thought 'fuck it' and made like everything was OK. "£15" he said optimistically. I'm not sure how he translated "My arse", he seemed less than impressed with the fiver he received before stumbling out trying to find the entrance to the terminal building.

An hour and a cocking half walk later, across two fields and several A-Roads and a dead fox I arrive home; dawn breaking, family up and about getting ready for school and work and whatnot. The bastard.
(Thu 27th May 2004, 12:39, More)

» Slang Survey

The only one I can think of off-hand
is from our old Head of Sixth-Form who was very fond of
'let's be professional with a small p, people'

In fact, he'd end any sentence with 'people'. Even if the number of persons within the locale of the conversation amounted to 'you and him'. Twat.
(Tue 3rd Feb 2004, 22:15, More)