b3ta.com user orukusaki
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If there was a lurking competition, I wouldn't enter it, just look at the other entries...

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» Call Centres

I've served my time in tech support.
You may think phone monkeys are dumb, try dealing with the general public for a living. We keep hold of some of the best customer quotes, for example:

Caller: My "1" key is broken, it keeps putting an exclamation mark
Agent: Are you pressing shift?
Caller: Yes
Agent: Why?
Caller: Because its the beginning of a sentence.
(Fri 4th Sep 2009, 19:44, More)

» Personal Hygiene

Another girl-poo tale
A few years ago I was, along with another guy Mick, left in charge of my local pub while the managers were on holiday. It was Wednesday night which meant the place was teaming with students getting stupidly drunk on BOGOF triple vodkas (really). Near the end of the night a girl approched the bar and rather sheepishly suggested we take a look in the Ladies. There were no female staff on that night so after ensuring there were no customers still inside we ventured in.

We approched the center cubicle, easing the door open with noses clamped tightly shut and stomachs already trembling. To this day I've got no idea how it's possible to shit, not just all over the seat and floor, but half way up the walls as well. There was vomit too. The combined output of both ends of some pretty young thing had mixed on the floor and was encroaching on the neighbouring cubicles. We got out of there fast.

We were now faced with a predicament. Although we were technically in charge, there's no we could demand another staff member clean it up and it slowly dawned on us that we were going to have to bite the bullet and sort it out. I've worked in a few bars and got used to cleaning up mess left by guys but girly poo is something else altogether. But then I had a brain wave. One of the guys who worked there at the time was known for always being skint. We offered him a tenner to clean it up and he practically chewed our arms off.

Best fiver I've ever spent.

Hi by the way.
(Sun 25th Mar 2007, 3:15, More)