b3ta.com user onelegout
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» The Best / Worst thing I've ever eaten

Ice cream
One hungover morning, I opened the fridge to see before me the most delicious looking lemon sorbet you've ever seen; a whole ice cream tub of it, full to the brim! I rummaged in the cupboard to find a very old packet of ice cream cones, grabbed the ice cream scoop, and salivating profusely, scooped up two big scoops of sorbet, sticking them on top of the cone. It was a sculpture of glory; a glistening tower of divine ice cream medicine which would surely cure my aweful hangover.

It was only as I took my first, huge bite of the ice cream that a terrible realisation struck me.

Ice cream belongs in a freezer, not a fridge.

Two words: Goose, fat.
(Wed 1st Jun 2011, 15:02, More)

» Complaining

Aweful bread flour, superb pizza dough!
My brother once bought some bread mix, to which you 'just add water', knead, let rise and then bake to make bread. Unfortunately it turned out more like pizza dough, so we used it to make pizzas with. He phoned the helpline/complaints number on the side of the packet, and left two messages. The first message was 'I bought some of your bread mix, and it was terrible. I was extremely disappointed to find that it turned out more like pizza dough.' The second message in an italian accent went, 'mama mia! Theees bread meeex makea the besta pizza dough in tha worlda! I wanna orda twenty kilograma for ma restauranta!'
(Mon 6th Sep 2010, 11:01, More)

» Crappy relationships

I was 6 months younger than her, on her 18th birthday she invited me and my mum round to her house for a family meal to celebrate her birthday. It was me, my mum, her, her parents, her 2 little brothers, and her best friend. After the main course, her and her best friend disappeared upstairs, came down dressed like absolute skanky sluts, and announced that they were going out clubbing. I wasn't old enough to get into any clubs, so was expected to sit with my mum and her family and eat desert. I then found out she cheated on me that night. Still, I dumped the bitch met a new girl who I am now living with in our own flat. The ex is now an alcoholic whore who still lives with her parents; I'm just thankful that it ended when it did! :D
(Thu 21st Oct 2010, 13:57, More)