» Why I was late

Philosophy Mid-term
Back during my drugging days, a friend of mine and I decided to go get real high before our Philosophy mid-term. We ended up driving around town for a while before stopping in this quiet little neighborhood to blaze up.

Three bowls into it, this incredibly old lady walks outside of her house to water the lawn. My buddy slaps my arm and points, saying, "Dude, holy crap."

It turns out, this old lady has like, the most freakishly long arms I've ever seen in my life. They are almost literally dragging on the ground as she walks. Watching this lady water her lawn was one of the funniest things we'd ever seen (being high at the time), so we just sat there and laughed as she did her lawn chores.

When she finally went back inside, we realized that we'd totally missed the start of our test, so we ran to class as quickly as we could. Stumbling into the classroom, the rest of the class feverishly working on the mid-term, we had to approach the professor, bleary eyed, to pick up our tests. He shoots me this malevolent glare and hisses, "Why are you boys late," as he hands me the test paper.

Too high to lie, I simply responded, "Dude, we would've been on time, but there was this old lady with incredibly long arms. That's why we're late."

My friend and I both got A's on the test.
(Fri 29th Jun 2007, 7:08, More)

» Personal Hygiene

Recovering Hippy
For a while in college I went hardcore hippy. The drugs, the lack of bathing, the whole 9 yards. Long story short, after almost a solid year barefoot and bathing, maybe 3 times a month my feet were just a solid crust of grime I'd picked up walking to school and my hair had gone into nasty, stinky white-boy dread-locks. It was rather foul.

Finally at the end of this streak, I was actually asked to leave a Pier 1 furniture store because my odor and appearance were so foul.

It was rather fun blending in with groups of homeless people, though... ah well..
(Thu 22nd Mar 2007, 18:35, More)