» Personal Hygiene

cockatoopoo
In the 1990's at my v posh boarding school, a veritable breeding ground for nice young ladies, there was one particular housemistress who stood out. A single lady of a certain age, she lived alone in a flat in the school with her pets. Two dogs, which ensured her flat and self were always carpeted in dog hair, and two cockatoos. She had the biggest breasts imaginable, and each morning the cockatoos positioned themselves on each breast, one on the left, one on the right. Throughout the day, as she wandered through the school, a steady drip drip drip of bird poo meant that by the end of the day her red jumper (I think she only had one) was absolutely drenched in this excrement. The jumper often had second and third outings before washing. The housemistress was of course completely oblivious to the absolute revulsion of her young charges, and wondered why we all recoiled when she tried to tuck us in and kiss us goodnight (but perhaps that is another issue altogether). What is it about teachers???
(Tue 27th Mar 2007, 10:07, More)