» Dumb things you've done

One particular weekend in June this year
My idiot senses kicked in big time. Out of the many dumb things I did that weekend, this one was the worst. As a Birthday present, my Brother had bought me tickets to go see Muse play at Wembley Stadium (Which would go on to be hailed as one of their finest performances), the plan was to get a train up to London early Sunday morning and meet my Brother, so it wasn't really a good idea to go out to a psychadelic trance event the night before, but seeming as I was in idiot mode, I opted for a night out. After getting completely bladdered and shovelling copious amounts of drugs in to my system, me and quite a few friends decided to carry on the party back at my place. Now, at the time, I was just learning to drive and had recently come into ownership of a nice little car and in my hazy state of wastedness, I decided it would be a grand idea to go for a little drive round the back roads of Cornwall. All was going great, my parents hadn't heard me take off and although I had forgotten to take the learner stickers off the car, the roads were empty and provided me with no potential head on collisions. It was only when I got back to my house and was going down our drive at 60mph that things took a turn for the worst. One of the back wheels clipped the side of our barn, forcing me to swerve into a fence, straight through a chicken coop and straight through another fence and finally come to a halt on a conrete wall. My Mum found me still in the drivers seat with a big grin on my face, the windsreen wipers on and the front half of the car not where it should be. After cursing my name several times and a few backhanders to the head, I gobbled down what drugs we had left, hurried my friends out of the house and didn't show my face at home for a long enough time for my parents to calm down.

So, not only did I miss the ultimate Muse gig, I wrote off my car, seriously pissed off my parents and woke up feeling like a bag of broken assholes. On the plus side, all the chickens survived, if not a little traumatised and homeless.

The big question is though, did I learn from this? Well, the answer is no... Only a few weeks ago I was taking my friends car with no licence no MOT and no insurance out to pick up some friends, only to realise it had no petrol half way through the journey. Got away with that one though, left it at the roadside and got our friend to pretend it had been stolen.

I'm starting to think I should just be kept far away from vehicles.
(Mon 24th Dec 2007, 21:55, More)