» Well, that taught 'em

Chavs down the road, i'm sure you can relate to this
There is one particular chav that happens to live on a council estate rather near to me and he likes (or should I say liked) to throw stones at me and generally be a todger.

So naturally the other day, when i saw him showing off sliding down a banister rail at school, i stuck around.

Now i was planning to find a large, sharp and heavy object in his motion path but the heavens did the job for me as he slipped and fell flat on his face.

He rolled over crying and bleeding, nose completely fucked. I couldn't help but grab this opportunity by the collar.

Cue a video I rather like of a dickhead chav who thinks he is hard crying and bleeding being shown to people all over the school on my phone.

He has left me alone ever since.

I am evil for doing this but the therapeutic feelings of humiliating a nemesis bring overwhelming temptation.

Length? (Insert overused and un-amusing length joke here)
(Fri 27th Apr 2007, 17:30, More)

» Expensive Mistakes

One night i'd had a bit to drink and...
I accidentally wrapped my bollard around a wife

not a great idea i can tell you
(Tue 30th Oct 2007, 18:46, More)

» Well, that taught 'em

Following previous post i remembered........
I was once sleeping at a mates house with about another 3 mates.
After hours of beer swigging, X-Box playing and the non-stop drone of somewhat orchestral parping, i brought hell upon myself by being the first person to fall asleep.
Now this was a complete accident, especially seeing as there was a perfectly formed turd sitting on my chest when i woke up in the morning.
Having slumped off to the bathroom, leaving behind a room of four hungover but hysterical mates, i applied the best stealth known to man and snuck a picnic plate in with me.
I washed the excretion from my chest but managed to keep it on a plate.
Fast-forward about 4 hours to lunch time.
Me:"I'll make the lunch".
*cooks "hotdogs"*
At table....
Mate:Where's yours?
Me:I'm not really hungry.
Mate:fair enough

they should learn that hell hath no fury like a Ketzer Miller scorned.
Now if my idiot mates of the time learnt to question things they wouldn't have eaten a mouthfull of shit.

Yes i know length yadayada, B3tans can read can't they?
(Fri 27th Apr 2007, 17:45, More)

» Best Graffiti Ever

Shirley Bindun?!?!?!
About to leave a toilet cubicle, i laugh heartily as i read.....

"Some come here to take a shit, i come here to leave one"

to this day i have never seen graffiti i like more (apart from some of that insane science defying stuff that is 10ft high on walls will no conceivable way up =S)
(Mon 7th May 2007, 20:56, More)

» Expensive Mistakes

Bike parking skills...
Posting this on behalf of a friend who can't post yet, he beith Timy430....

This is the story of how my brand new bike had its life cut short by the evil white transit van:

I had owned this bike for about 15 minutes and was realy pushing it. Speeding down a hill i turned a sharp corner and, in the blink of an eye, found my self parked up the side of a van.

Damage Report:
back wheel buckled
gears stopped working
break pads completley gone

Van was unharmed and i had a lovely round bruise on a majority of my face for about a week. Amazingly i didn't break anything.

Although not very expensive as far as money is concerned, it cost me both my pride and hours of potential enjoyment on my new, now-knackered bike.
(Tue 30th Oct 2007, 18:58, More)