b3ta.com user Red Morning Light
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» Desperate Times

Not me but.............
while at this year's excellent Latitude Festival I witnessed something which most certainly fits the question theme.

After a fun first night of drinking and watching Hitchcock with a live orchestra the next morning me and my mates trotted to the bogs to divest the contents of our bowels and bladders. Now to save me the trouble of describing these toilets someone (not me by christ!) helpfully took a video and posted it on You Tube: www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqrihaHEJ80

Pretty grim eh?!!

Anyway back to the story. I was getting down to business when I heard an unmistakenly high pitched scream coming from a girl in the same toilet block as myself. What prompted this anguish? Had the girl opened one of the toilet doors to find some spotty indie kid in mid-bowel evacuation? Nope, as she told her friend/compatriot/complete stranger in the next cubicle "i've fuckin' dropped my ticket down the loo!". At Latitude you could get into the campsite with your ticket but had to exchange this for a wristband to get into the festival arena.

"Gutted" think I and upon leaving the toilets stroll back to meet my mates. They too had heard the girl's lamentations and we all had a good chuckle.

What topped the story though happened a couple of minutes later when we saw the same girl run past us, mop in hand, presumably to fish her ticket out of the stinky mire.

Click "I like this" if you think this was a pretty desperate act for her to commit.
(Sat 17th Nov 2007, 17:33, More)

» The Dirty Secrets of Your Trade

Council Workers
We despise the public.

Whaddya mean that's no secret?
(Thu 27th Sep 2007, 11:44, More)

» Workplace Boredom

Many moons ago, between finishing my A-levels and heading off to uni, I was fortunate enough to get a job in Blockbusters. This wasn't any old Blockbusters but in fact one of six flagship stores based in Sainsbury's stores across the country.

Because we were based in Sainsbury's this meant that we opened at a far earlier time than most Blockbuster stores do - 8 o'clock each morning. Now most people tend to want to watch movies in the evening and indeed this was when we most busiest. Before seven in the evening we'd barely serve a soul, before midday we would rarely even see a soul. Cue many, many hours spent in the staff room eating popcorn, listening to the radio, reading the papers and keeping an eye on the security camera in case a stray customer came in.

Of course if the manager was around during the day then we would actually have to do some work (the bastard!). He, however, left after three months (maybe it was the stress of the job?) and they couldn't replace him.

After a further nine months of doing largely no work and deservedly getting a pittance for it I moved to Oxford to go to uni. I managed to transfer to the Cowley Road store. Cue three years of actually having to work (the bastards!), deal with students (could people be more unpleasant?) and spend my time trying to stop the crack addicts from stealing our ice-cream (a losing battle).
(Sat 10th Jan 2009, 14:36, More)

» Childhood Ambitions

Not me but my mum. I was once told by my dear mum, during one of those inevitable "what do you want to be when you grow up?" conversations when your 13, that her childhood ambition was to become a stripper! Forget about all the glamour (is this right?) that goes with taking off ones clothes for money these days, this was back in the the 50's when people rarely showed skin outside the bedroom. Don't know what made her change her mind but thankfully she became a library assistant.

Me, I had dreams of becoming a professional footballer and rock star rolled into one. Unfortunately, this rather predictably fell through due to a lack of talent in either direction. Now i'm an office monkey extraordrinaire. Yay for me!
(Tue 3rd Apr 2007, 19:37, More)

» Abusing freebies

Good Food Show
Children studying GCSE Food and the esteemed Good Food Show just don't mix.

On our one day-trip throughout the whole two years we spent studying the subject we, the class of Mrs Eastman, snaffled as much free stuff as we could, ignoring the demonstrations by Ken Hom, Jamie Oliver and other assorted chefs. Sadly the exhibitors were wise to our attempts to sample the plentiful free booze (we were 15 years old so this wasn't exactly difficult). However we did come back with liberal amounts of gelatin sweets, Lavazza Coffee (i still get the leaflets sent my way to this day - 8 years later) Fabulous Bakin' Boys Muffins and many other lovely food things.

Not sure if it helped me get my final grade (a B+ - my best grade!) but did teach me the value of free stuff - my parents still haven't had to buy salt in all these years thanks to that day.

Kudos to moi :)
(Sat 10th Nov 2007, 16:54, More)
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