b3ta.com user SillyWilly
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» Strange things you've been paid to do

I once got paid £50 to spend two days having my eyes tested by some student opticians, it was their final exam before they were sent out into the real world. One of them told me that I had a sight-threatening eye disease and was lucky not to be blind already... Thankfully she was wrong, but I think she probably failed her exam.
(Thu 30th Sep 2004, 11:06, More)

» Black Sheep

Uncle Nick
We aren't allowed to talk to (or about) my Uncle Nick because he's been inside for armed robbery. He's my grandma's brother and still lives near her; sometimes when we're visiting her we see him at the shops or somewhere, and my grandma always hisses "there's Nick! Look the other way!" Consequently I have no idea what he even looks like! I would like to meet him though because apparently he has led a very exciting life, he used to be in a circus!
(Fri 14th Jan 2005, 11:21, More)

» Pure Ignorance

My housemate persists in pronouncing 'b3ta' as 'bee-three-tah'. The first time I heard him say it I thought he was joking, but sadly he wasn't. I've even showed him the faq but I don't think it's made a difference, he still comes in and says to me, "Have you seen that great photo on the front of bee-three-tah?" I've given up.
(Tue 11th Jan 2005, 13:13, More)

» Look! It's me in the Local Paper

Nearly in paper
When I was in the last year of school the council were threatening to close our 6th form and replace it with a "Centre for Lifelong Learning" somewhere else. A bunch of us formed a kind of protest group and the people came from the paper to interview us. They talked to us all for ages and spent an equally long time posing a photograph. When the paper came out they had run the article without the picture, and the text finished halfway through a quote from our headteacher. Although I should have expected as much, said newspaper is not fit to line the cat litter tray if you ask me.
(Thu 10th Feb 2005, 15:09, More)

» Shoddy Presents

Last Christmas
Last Christmas my brother gave me a squeaky plastic dog toy as a present. It wasn't a joke - he thought it was a money box, at least that's what he said when my dad had a go at him for being cheap and stupid. I've seen some really good ideas for my revenge on here...

Also, my grandma once got me a folding stool for my birthday, you know, the kind old people take on picnics so they don't hurt their backs trying to sit on the ground. I was about 14 and I was gutted.
(Thu 23rd Sep 2004, 20:56, More)
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