b3ta.com user Le Misanthrope
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» The most childish thing you've done as an adult

Picture the scene. Wednesday morning, last week. I'm walking to work, having just arrived by train. No busses, but the sun's shining, so on go the sunglasses, sling the jacket over my shoulder, and off I saunter.

I come to the road bridge over the railway, and cross over. I'm smiling and humming along. ELO's 'Mr Blue Sky' is on the iPod, the flying spaghetti monster is in his heaven, and all is right with the world.

Just when I thought the morning couldn't get any better, it suddenly did.

An area of freshly-laid, still damp concrete! AHA! I looked over. Some lowlife had already doodled on the grey, damp surface, etching 'BS luvs Kaz' into the proudly perpendicular Portland product.

But that grafitto inspired me. I knew, in a flash of inspiration, what I had to do. It was as if the heavens had opened, and Rob Manuel, SpankyHanky, Apeloverage and the massed Kitten Army- the spirit and influence of B3ta- had whispered in my ear. I knew exactly what the spirit of B3ta would have me draw....

I felt compelled. I dodged an oncoming cycle, and quickly, furtively, pushed my right index finger into the wet cement, and I drew quickly and decisively, before running off giggling like a loon.

Length? About 14 inches, complete with testicles, a few wispy hairs, and a little spurt of man-juice.
(Sun 20th Sep 2009, 1:48, More)

» Guilty Pleasures, part 2

Chat rooms
Going on chatrooms with a particularly female-sounding name, and then getting a phone number ostensibly for phone sex from guy A. Give this number to guy B, give B's number to C, and so on...

Or, alternatively, get a guys phone number and message it to about 50 guys wanting phonesex with this "lady". One guy apparently got close to 50 calls and had to turn off his phone when I did that to him. Another fun game is to try and see how many times you can give a guy other guys' phone numbers without losing the image.

It's utterly fantastic; if you give out your mobile number indiscriminately on the net to total strangers, don't be surprised if some of those strangers turn out to be bored students looking to have a great laugh at others' expense when mildly tipsy late at night.
(Mon 17th Mar 2008, 8:13, More)

» The most childish thing you've done as an adult

I'm going to Diggerland in October.

I've actually had a sleepless night, overcome by the sheer awesomeness of being able to actually drive a JCB and do some digging.
(Thu 17th Sep 2009, 17:10, More)

» Best Graffiti Ever

On a college toilet door...
..as most graffiti seem to be.

"If you are reading this, you are shitting at a 45 degree angle"

To which someone, presumably a mathematician, had appended:

"Should be negative or -45 degrees"

Meh, first post.
(Fri 4th May 2007, 15:20, More)

» Shit Claims to Fame II

My great uncle
Remarried Barack Obama's mum.
(Thu 20th Sep 2012, 23:00, More)
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