b3ta.com user Harleif
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Hi, I'm Harleif from the the arse end of the Pacific Ocean.

I am a massive Ska and Metal fan.

That's all you need to know.

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Tales of the Unexplained

In Southern England.
Some watery tart threw a sword at me and told me I had supreme executive power.

Stupid moistened bint.

(Fri 4th Jul 2008, 0:31, More)

» Your first cigarette

Well, not cigarette per se...
My first tobacco experience (aside from second hand) was an ex-girlfriend who smoked. We split up, and I had minor withdrawl symptoms
from her nicotine laced kisses. If you can't keep a man through addiction, you've no hope in this world.

Length? I blame the carcinogens.
(Wed 19th Mar 2008, 19:25, More)

» Customers from Hell

You don't have to come into contact with the customer to be subjected to their bullshit
Which brings me neatly one of the menial tasks I had to do at my summer. I was working for a small manufacturing firm which made "units" for milking systems (company confidentiality and all that). Anyways, some of these boxed units come back one day for an upgrade, after sitting in a milking shed for a few years.

What you must understand about the boxes these units are housed in, is that they are water tight, except for a couple of shielded vents, which open out to the wall side of the unit, and there's only about 5mm clearance between the end of the vent cover, and the wall.

Despite this piddly, and finnicky opening into the box, there is a phenominal amount of shit in each of about 20 boxes, for which the only explanation is that milking sheds are a bestial scat orgy mixed with a food fight. Even more intriguing are the shit-stains that defy the laws of physics.

Cattle are amazing creatures, but my prefered mode of contact with them is medium-rare.
(Wed 10th Sep 2008, 22:13, More)

» Will you go out with me?

I was really suprised when this worked
*Harlief sniffs the air*
"Did you just fart? Cos you blew me away."

It was short lived, turns out she was crazy.
(Sun 31st Aug 2008, 2:38, More)

» Political Correctness Gone Mad

Uncle Chopper wants a word with you.
Australasians'll know what I mean.
(Sat 24th Nov 2007, 8:58, More)
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