b3ta.com user zebby
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Staatsangehörigkeit is just one of my favourite German words.

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» Sexual fetishes

My wife
loves it when I talk dirty to her in German. Now I find this a bit odd, my native language is hardly the language of love.

Once though instead of talking dirty I explained how to do a database restore in SQL. It seems just the tone of voice and German will do it for her. Ah bless!
(Fri 23rd Oct 2009, 13:54, More)

» My sex misconceptions

Slightly off topic but...
A misconception put around by my good self at school was that if your willy floated in the bath it meant you were gay.

This was merely a ruse to cover my lack of swimming ability.
Non-floaty knob = Sinker.
Good swimmer = Gay.

I still find it a tad sad that it isn't true as I think 'Man drowned by own cock' makes a great headline.
(Tue 30th Sep 2008, 12:48, More)

» Inflated Self-Importance

What gave these cunts such a high opinion of themselves that they got the idea they can credit rate countries?
(Thu 24th Jan 2013, 13:52, More)

» Bullies

I can relate to this
being half German.
I was born in Germany but I only spent the first 5 years of my life there. My parents moved to the UK and I've spent the rest of my life here.
Yes I have a German surname but as I have an English forename and no accent you'd be hard pressed to tell my bloodline.

In school the surname was enough though and so I went various name calling and thigh slapping episodes which so many people have said are character building.

However, what really pisses me off is that these things still go on.

Some people I meet feel it's amusing and OK to take the piss with a comedy German accent, rename me "Fritz" and one or two have really gone the whole nine yards and suggested I may like to gas a Jew or two.

But please, if you are going to be xenophobic at least be consistant. That way I can deal with you as an ignorant racist cunt that you are. Don't expect me to respond to Fritz and when you finally do use my given name, and don't expect me to be civil.

Rant over, apologies for the complete and utter lack of funny and possibly tenuous QOTW linkage.
(Wed 20th May 2009, 13:45, More)

» Gyms

My company
Gives me a free gym membership as part of my "remuneration package" and I've never set foot in the place.

I tried to renegotiate my "remuneration package" to exchange this gym membership for cash to spend on beer and pies but HR turned down my request.

(Fri 10th Jul 2009, 13:57, More)
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