» Well, that taught 'em

Johnny Heist
I used to work in a pharmacy way back when, earning money after school delivering prescriptions on my bike to the old and sick, Like a paper round but it paid about 6 quid a week better. All of the addresses were in short riding distance to the shop apart from one nursing home out the back of bumfuck, a full 45 minutes there and back, which in winter months was a slag. And the place really did stink of piss.

To get around this problem (I was a lazy twat) I would pass on the package to my step mum who was a district night nurse, and she would drop it off on her rounds later in the evening. Only problem was she was on valium at the time, and one evening forgot to take the bag of pills.

I get into work the next day and my boss smacks me full blooded over the head with an A4 lever arch file. twice. would have been three but i took evasive action. apparently the importance of the prescription to the nursing home had been understated, resulting in the old dear being rushed to hospital in the middle of the night before.

As a rational adult I would have accepted responsibility, however I was 14 and no fucker smacks me over the head with anything and gets away with it. Luckily this pharmacy sold condoms, lots of them. lite, ribbed, flavoured, everything - durex branded too. So I went out back to the storage room and filled my rucksack, pockets, even my socks with boxes of condoms and slipped unnoticed out the back door, never to return.

Selling them individually at school and around my estate made me about 60 quid, equivalent to 3 weeks wages - what I thought of as 'severance pay'. The pharmacy was under new management shortly afterwards, and looking back I have no idea why the police were never called.

4 years reading this messageboard, first post. Get in!
(Thu 26th Apr 2007, 22:24, More)